A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I've been dating my girlfriend for almost four years now. I'm 19 and she is 18. Everything would be great except that her parents are very strict, in fact they don't even know we are dating since i have been hanging out with her and her brother for 9 years. I have a profound love for this girl but her parents only speak Spanish so I can't really talk to them, and now I feel like if we tell them, they will become upset that they have been lied to for so long. My girlfriend wants to tell them but she is scared of how they will react.I'm moving out soon and would really like for my girlfriend to move in with me, please help!
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (28 August 2011):
 You are a grown up and so is she. She is 18 and you are 19. Live together! Yes, tell her parents what is going on so it is not like a bomb went off in their face, "by the way, your daughter is now living with me, peace bitches". However, if they say no, then forget them. She is a woman and you are a man. Man up and woman up if they say no. If my daughter moved in with a guy after telling me they had been dating for four years and would like my blessing, I would do the following. I would get upset that she lied to me, get over that, and then say, do you love him? Does he abuse you? Does he allow you to be who you want to be? Is he a druggie or violent? Is he an alcoholic, so on so forth. If you are none of those things, then live together.If you are all or some of those things, fix your shit. If you are any of the violent or controlling things, you don't deserve to be in a relationship.That is my advice.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 This is your girlfriends problem, not yours. She's the one who needs to deal with her parents. If she wants to move in with you badly enough, she'll talk to her parents about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): It is not your job to tell her parents, she will have to do it herself. They don't need to know you've been dating for four years, because that will upset them very much. Tell them you've just started dating.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Tallk to your girlfriend first.She msut be part of any solution and she knows her parents best.
You can start off by being honest, possibly disappointing her parents. Then trying to rebuild the relationship and the trust between her parents and you. Thus you will behave honorably. Your girl friend may come under a lot of pressure at home. For betraying the trust of her parents
or
Start taking Spanish lessons from your girl friend.
Then "fall in love with her". Start Courting her more obviously.
Learn the words to "thank you, please, good morning, good evening, yes and no, I like your Daughter very much"
Meet her father and Mother.
Let her parents "see" you both falling in love
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