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We have sex 3 times a week, what can I do to boost my sex drive?

Tagged as: Family, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello dear cupid I have a serious issue. ..I am 22 and my fiance is 27 we have a great relationship outside of the sex department. ...we have a handsome 9 month old, truly faithful to one another, and pursuing to be successful for our family...the problem is that my sex drive is low and his high. Not having sex for long periods of time would not bother me however he is a mam and has needs. Lately we have sex like 3 times a week, is that not enough for our age, what can I do to boost my sex drive????

View related questions: fiance, period, sex drive

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2013):

Thank all of you so much for the advice!

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (29 June 2013):

eddie85 agony auntEach couple has to set their own expectations in regards to one another's sexual appetites. To be honest, 3 times a week is actually pretty good for most long-term couples. As couples grow more familiar with one another and the relationship ages, the physical passions often wane. It is a natural occurrence.

I think what you need to do is determine what turns you on and what sort of actions your fiancee can do to light your fire so to speak. If you are worrying about the baby, tired from work, can't relax because of a messy house, etc he may have to lend a hand in helping out. If there is something that your boyfriend can do, physically, be sure you let him know. The whole point in regards to sex is to make each other feel good... if you feel it is an obligation that you must "endure" he will pick up on that and it will spoil that side of your life.

Be sure that you are enjoying sex. You don't necessarily have to be in the mood for sex, but having an orgasm never ruined someone's day. If he isn't providing in this department, you may have to encourage him to step up his game.

Finally, to understand a bit more about men and how they relate to sex, and what you can do to keep your marriage / relationship happy, I would encourage you to read Dr Laura Schlessinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I think the advice is pretty much spot on in regards to how men view love and sex and how women can please their husband...

Eddie

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (29 June 2013):

person12345 agony auntTo add on the great advice below:

How satisfied are you when you do have sex? Do you orgasm easily every time or almost every time? Do you feel like your needs are a priority? Does your husband equally share in childcare and housework? All are important questions to ask. Also 3x a week is hardly a low sex drive, it's above average.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (29 June 2013):

Honeypie agony auntFirst of all your body and hormones are not quite yet back to "normal" for some women that never happens after giving birth, but I would suggest you talk to your doctor. It could be you are hormonal imbalanced.

3 times a week isn't bad (or out of the norm) for your age group, specially not with a little one around too.

Take the time to do couples things too, get a babysitter,ask your parents and so forth and do some date-nights.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2013):

Well me and my partner are the same age as you and you partner with a 21month old child . He works full time and I am a stay at home mum looking for work. Our sex life is that we have it 3-4 times a week and as far as I know that is above average. ! The average for a working couple with children is about 2-3 times a week (I know this as it was on TV not so long ago)

Your baby is only 9 months old give your self a chance. A woman's body take 12 months after birth to go back to normal even longer if you have breast feed, you still have hormones raging even if you are no aware of them.

Can someone like one of your mothers have the little one while you have dinner or go out. One of the most important thing when you have a child is keeping your relationship about you and him and no just being parents. Plus with the baby not being there and with someone that you totally trust it will be easier to focuse on you and your guy.

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