A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering what to do about my marriage. I am in my early 20's and I just got married 2 months ago. I am in Germany with my husband because he is in the army. So he works for the army here and I left everything from the States to come be with him. So I am very lonely. All he ever wants to do when he is not at work is play video games or watch TV. We do not have intimate conversations or anything beyond things like "what do you want for dinner?" When we go to bed he automatically falls asleep and we do not have sex regularly even though we were just married 2 months ago. I feel that he shuts me out for some reason. I am lonely and unhappy and there is nobody I can turn to because I am in a different country where I don't know anybody. I try to talk to him about this but he just gets in a horrible mood or says I am being stupid and then he won't talk to me. I don't know if he is cheating on me or what the problem is. Any advice? Is this marriage already over?
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female
reader, rockelle +, writes (31 August 2007):
 Maybe he seems distant because of stress at work or something else. It may have nothing to do with him being unhappy with you. You need to communicate your feelings to him. If you want to avoid an arguement write him a letter while he is at work, and leave it for him to read. You will feel beter and he will know exactly whats on your mind. Your marriage is not over. It takes work from both of you. Sometimes men have no clue, he may not have any idea about how you are feeling.
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (31 August 2007):
 This is going to sound funny, but make an appointment with him. Tell him you want some time to talk about something, and promise that if you don't finish talking you will stop after the hour that you've scheduled.
Then let him know that you're not blaming him, but you're having a hard time of it. You want to be supportive of him, but he needs to be supportive of you too. You need someone to talk to, and because of where you are it's not like you can go out and talk to anyone else.
Are you guys on base? If so, you might hit the wives club to see if they have anything to do to keep busy. You might also try this site: http://www.militarywives.com/
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (31 August 2007):
 He shouldn't be blowing you off like that. Communication is the key, and apparently he doesn't want to communicate. He's treating you condescendingly, and if I were you I'd give him an ultimatum. ie "If you don't start finding time for me/to communicate with me, I'm getting a divorce."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): OK those posts are all wrong..Yes you should worry. You are not happy at all. And why be miserable just b/c "he's an army bloke"? Maybe that isn't the kind of life you want, or the kind of husband that treats you this way. And who ever posted this response "Your marrige is over only if I want it so.
If you try your best to be the most decent wife for him then you can say It's over now. Keep the faith. Every rose has it's thorn."
Learn English because that didn't even make any sense at all.
I really think you need to think about this before you have any kids with him, and no kids will not help your relationship, kids make relationships harder. You're in a differnent country with a man who treats you like you're just existing. If I were you, I would never had married him in the 1st place. But Im not one to put up with a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): Your marrige is over only if I want it so.
If you try your best to be the most decent wife for him then you can say It's over now. Keep the faith. Every rose has it's thorn.
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A
female
reader, EbonyElphie  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 Gosh no! Its only just getting started! He's an army bloke, and they are all different to Buisness blokes, or family blokes. His devoted himself to his country, and he goes to bed at night and wants to sleep because he has had to live day after day of shooting and bombs. So it isn't easy. He has alot on his mind, you shouldn't worry.
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