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Two brothers love me. One is bad one is good. I love them both but I am with the bad one

Tagged as: Family, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *lueangelvenom writes:

What do you do when two brothers love you, one is the silent best friend from beginning of high school, and the other is the older bad boy brother who spoke up to share his feelings right away.

This is really tough because, the bad boy brother and I had started dating just 1 1/2 ago, and we got really close and i got close with the family as well. He's the type that is over protective, and controlling to a point, and wants me only for himself, or in a threesome with other women.

The silent best friend is more of the quiet basement hermit type, who hardly ever shares his true feelings, and is a really calm and classy type of guy.

They both knew that i had feelings for each of them, and i went with the bad boy cus i was mad at the best friend at the time, and wound up falling hard for his brother.

The true problem arose just a little while ago, because the bad boy just got a new job where he's gone at night and the brothers live together, so i hang out with the brother watching movies, or playing board games with him while the bad boy is gone. Well just recently old feelings have been pushing their way back to the surface, we both are trying to ignore them, but we both keep wanting to get closer, but we know how destructive it would be. It doesn't help that the brothers played on a fantasy and shared me two times, and now i don't know what to do, because I have always loved the silent brother and i had fallen for the bad boy brother, so I've kept it quiet but i love both brothers.

What do i do? I really need advice, what do i do? Is it something that will pass, or should i just try to ignore the feelings again? Please help.

View related questions: best friend, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011):

I am also in love with two brothers. Take it from me you need to choose carefully. I am married to the older bad boy type and yet I love the younger more sensible brother. I would say you should go with your heart but if it feels like mine does then there is no easy choice. I don't regret my marriage to the bad boy but if I went back 8 years I would make another choice. Try and think of 10 years down the road who will make you happy, who is headed in the same direction you wanna go.

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A female reader, blueangelvenom United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

blueangelvenom is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the advice, I think I'm going to go on vacation and get away to think about the situation and reflect on the best things for me.

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

PerhapsNot agony auntYou should ditch them both and get yourself a new man without any drama attached, OR a brother! :)

"It doesn't help that the brothers played on a fantasy and shared me two times"

Are you sure that was not your fantasy? Why would two brothers want a threesome with the same woman, who they know is emotionally attached to both of them? Makes no sense. It certainly is not something that is conducive to any healthy relationship. And then you mention threesome with women with the "bad boy". Honestly, too many boundaries were crossed here for anything healthy to come out of this with either brother.

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A female reader, green eyed mulatto United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

green eyed mulatto agony auntWell hmmm most females go for the bad boy they like the aggressiveness and their adventurous side, but the problem with bad boys are they stay doing things that make them the bad boy and it always has a negative affect...you need to step back and reflect on what you really want out of a relationship and than decide which brother you think can give you stabilty and security...don,t base it off good boy or bad boy images good luck :)

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2011):

N91 agony auntLaughed so hard at marieclaire's answer......brilliant!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

This is a very difficult situation. It could be very bad for you to break up with one brother to date the other. Men do not like it when their woman dumps them for a friend, I can only imagine how much worse it is between brothers.

Also I don't know how healthy this relationship is for you. If the 'bad boy' is controling he could easily become abusive later on. Sharing you with his brother that he knows you have feelings for is just setting things up to get bad and bring on jealousy, in my opinion. Also I don't know if he forced you into a threesome or it was something you also enjoy, but I don't know how good that is for you either.

I just think it is a bad situation for you all the way around. I wish I could be of more help.

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