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Should I send my husband money? I think his family takes advantage of us!

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2014)
A female Belgium age 36-40, anonymous writes:

3 years ago My husband sent alot of money to his family in a muslim country. His family said they were investing this money into a company where it would make profit. Some of this money was also mine.

Now a month ago he has gone to see his family and asked for the money. They are coming up with all kinds of excuses because the country is at war and the economy has been badly affected, and saying that the company does not have any money.

In my own opinion i think they have spent this money along time ago, as when my husband asked for some money over a year ago and there was no war they made excuses then. They have always in the past pestered him for money.

I dont think we will ever see this money again and i have helped my husband out financially many times for his family. He has now asked me to send him some money as he has none there as he was expecting to get this money from this company, which i think is aload of rubbish and his family have lied. He is wanting money for food, phone credit and internet etc... He says he feels shame if he asks his family. Or possibly they dont have any.

I dont want to send him any because now i feel very taken advantage of, i am angry that he trusted his family with alot of money and some was mine. Also i have already helped him so many times and his family. I also feel that because they are the ones that have done whatever with this money then they should support him whilst he is there and not me. I get the feeling that his family are just users and think i have loads of money and they can spend whatever they like. They have invited me to their country and were talking to my husband about the benefits they could get for me, i was gobsmacked and told my husband i would not be going.

Does anyway have any opinions about this and if i should send my husband any money as i dont feel i should.

View related questions: money, muslim

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 November 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntTey are obviously scaming both of you. If you don't send it would you be in fear of your life? If hubby is muslum too you might be in big trouble but if he's not then hey, yours is yours. You said they were investing the previous "gift" therefore they must have been less than truthful otherwise the investment would be paying off and they wouldn't need more money. Your jusband is either being played for a fool by his own parents or they made a terrible investment. If the investment was a poor one, why throw good money after bad? I'd answer with, "Can't do right now we have all our money tied up in investments that have severe penalties for early withdrawal, so sorry, what happened to the origional funds we loaned you guys?" Good Luck

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (8 November 2014):

Dont send it. Why should you go without, yet again? He says he feels shame to ask, well that is tough because he needs to ask. And sorry to say but I think they are taking advantage of you, people living in poor countries tend to think that there is an endless supply of money to be had in Europe. He can ask them for the money, they are his family after all. If your husband continues to finance his family once he is back, and this will happen, you may need to keep your spare money separate. You dont want to ruin your future because of these peoples greed.

Best of luck

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (8 November 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIf you feel you should not send money then don't! It is that simple.

Be aware if you do not send him money he may not be able to afford to stay in contact with you ... especially if it comes down to a choice of asking for money for food or for credit, I guess food would come first.

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