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Should I respond to ex's new GF's message?

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Question - (31 December 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was in a long distance relationship a few years ago which lasted two years. Now we're just friends, although we don't keep in touch, we do meet up whenever we happen to be in one another's cities. Recently, his current girlfriend for about a year messaged me on Facebook. She was very polite and asked about "us." She had come across the photo album I gave my ex a few years ago, documenting our "life" together, including trips abroad to see one another and our summer in Europe. She said he had never mentioned having a long distance relationship, and was curious to "when" we dated. I don't mind any of the above but would it be polite to respond? Or should I mind my own business.

View related questions: facebook, long distance, my ex

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (31 December 2012):

tennisstar88 agony auntI've actually has this happen to me a few years back. I had gotten out of a nasty engagement with my ex and his new GF contacted me out of sheer curiosity.

Instead of dragging his name through the mud, as he had done me, I took the high road and told her that he seems nice now, but he will show his true colors within time. This was at the end of 2008 and she finds me again on FB, to tell me I was right.

Just be extremely vague when it comes to her questions about him. She'll take very little of what you say into account.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Hmm very suspicious, she has probably already asked him questions and is now asking you so she can verify his answers.

You don't need to answer her at all and if you do it could open a can of worms.I would say ignore her.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntShe's fishing... I personally would direct her back to her boyfriend and say "ask him"

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 December 2012):

person12345 agony auntIf she asked politely I don't see why you wouldn't respond, it's kind of rude not to. HOWEVER, I agree with CMMP that it sounds like she might be fishing for something and your response might politely be that she should ask him about that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012):

It would be polite to respond to a polite request unless you have any reasons to worry. If her ex partner didnt tell her about you, she is probably rather surprised and curious but it is up to you if you want to respond or not. What do your instincts tell you? It is usually best to follow your instincts when faced with a dilemma.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2012):

R1 agony auntif she messaged you then it is only fair to respond if you want to. If he is lying to her she has a right to know.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012):

Since she was polite in her message I don't see any reason for you not to respond. Just be matter of fact.since there's nothing to hide as far as you're concerned

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (31 December 2012):

It almost sounds as if she's trying to see if he's lying about something. I wouldn't respond because it's really none of her business.

Don't you think that he has the right to keep that information private?

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