A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, can I ask a question please? I am currently working as a housing Assistant, my superior is a married man 2x my age, he comes across flirty sometimes and stares at me all the time, like really it has been noticed by others. The other day he slapped my backside and though I was shocked I laughed it off. My workmate has just brought this all up infront of my mum and dad who are furious and want me to report him. I don't get why? I laughed so he hasn't done anything wrong has he? My number has said if I allow this he will keep pushing the boundaries unless I nip it in the bud and report it. What do u do? U I don't want trouble?? Or to create problems.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 November 2014):
 I agree with Ciar, I think before you consider reporting him (and YOU end up let go) you should tell him that in the future you would not like to slapped on the butt or elsewhere. And do it when no one else is around. Be professional and polite.
I think you laughed more because you were unsure of what to do/react then because you found it "funny". Which I think is a pretty normal gut reaction.
You are two adults, so handle it yourself. If he oversteps YOUR personal boundaries AGAIN, then by all means report him.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (16 November 2014):
 Thanks for the follow up, OP, but just to clarify something...
When I warned against unwittingly encouraging more of it by polite laughing, I was speaking of the future. I do NOT think you invited or encouraged this, knowingly or un-knowingly.
Your boss was very forward, but that was HIS mistake. Not yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers, I didn't think much of it,until my mum gave me her view last night. I don't encourage attention from him of course at work I try to be nice to all my co-workers and mabey i have encouraged this without realising. If he does anything again I will stop him and tell him i don't like that. Laughing along with him has obviously been a green light which I didn't mean to give off. Thanks though.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (16 November 2014):
No doubt this will be considered impolitic of me, but I think it would be best if you handled this on your own instead of running to tell the teacher. I'd like to think grown women had more sophisticated problem solving strategies than 'I'm telling!'While I'm not condoning such 'familiar' treatment, I don't believe that a joking bum swat will escalate into rape if left unaddressed. If you're not put out by it, then I'd leave it, but don't unwittingly encourage more of it by polite laughing. You could 'joke' back about how your bum is off limits or something. Pick your battles.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2014): Inappropriate.
Log a complaint.
If you approach him about it without having reported to HR he'll find an excuse to get you fired and there won't be any evidence to show that he's firing you to cover up.
But if you don't nip this in the bud it probably will carry on.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (16 November 2014):
Totally inappropriate! Yes, report him. The man is your supervisor!
I want to know why you think it was ok for this married man to touch you like that? What are you thinking?
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