New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My stepdad would rather have sex with me than with my mum!

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2006) 17 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

Dear cupid

I'm an 18 yr old girl and my problem is that my stepdad raped me a week ago, so my mom kicked me out. I enjoyed having sex with him and he has come to me twice( I'm living in my friend's apartment) and we've had an amazing time but it's not possible for him to come often because of my mother, and I really need him.

What should we do?

from problematic

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010):

ive been sexually abused but no one has proof and its taring my family apart and no one knows how to prove it so they have to put me back in the house with him there so i know wat tor going through

~crystal~

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, PJ1 United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2010):

Your mom kicked you out because you were raped? That's messed up, whether you enjoyed it or not, as if you didn't consent then he shouldn't have done it in the first place.

Contrary to other answers, it IS considered rape (I've done loads of research on it) if you did not consent - enjoying it is irrelevant. And consent is active, not passive (e.g. if you don't say no but you don't give a clear indication that you want it, it's still rape).

However, it's good that you're not traumatised. Ignore your mother and carry on - she shouldn't have kicked you out.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Main Man United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2009):

Main Man agony auntYou say he raped you & your home & then you say that you need him because you enjoyed having sex with him. I am thinking that you conseted to sex with him. If you 2 want to have sex & be together then perhaps you should both a place of your own to live together.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, PoisonLove United States +, writes (8 April 2009):

Ok first of all your your mother child she should of kicked his ass out either way it went if he raped you or you gave it up! So if you mean you need your step dad now as a dad get with him and you both tell her wither t was a lie or mistake but if your mean you need him sexually you need to ask yourself are you willing to not have a relationship with your mom and will he leave her for you if so! hope it helps

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, PoisonLove United States +, writes (8 April 2009):

Ok first of all your your mother child she should of kicked his ass out either way it went if he raped you or you gave it up! So if you mean you need your step dad now as a dad get with him and you both tell her wither t was a lie or mistake but if your mean you need him sexually you need to ask yourself are you willing to not have a relationship with your mom and will he leave her for you if so! hope it helps

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, jessandana United States +, writes (24 October 2007):

I honestly think that you as a person have no reaspect for your mother and even less for yourself. Put yourself in your mothers shoes , how would you feel if she had an affair with your boyfriend better yet how would you feel if when you have children did this to you?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006):

If you willingly had sex with him, and enjoyed it, it is not considered rape! He is your step father, you should have not done it in the first place... i suggest you forget about him now before you loose your mothers trust more than you already have. Guys come and go, your mom will be with your forever... something like this is hard to forgive, but maybe by the time she has fogiven you, you will have realized how wrong it was to do it in the first place...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (22 May 2006):

bonym agony auntI have ummed and aahed about this and I am just not convinced, I mean, my dear dont use the term "rape" so lighly. If you are enjoying sex with a man, it cannot be rape, please I do hope this is not a wind up because I believe that is sick, but if this is true, then please, this man needs locking up and your head is all over theplace, you are vulnerable and need help. xXx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, matron +, writes (21 May 2006):

matron agony auntHi, if you were raped why is he still with your mum, still walking the streets and not behind bars, and calling round to sleep with you. You weren't raped love, you consented and continue to consent. IF this is all true, him not calling round often has nothing to do with your mum its because he doesnt want or need to, he has your mum to sleep with whenever, perhaps he sees you when she has a headache!!!

You need to speak to a professional councillor you are a very immature 18yr old. Time you grew up and got a real life!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2006):

willywombat agony auntI strongly believe that this is posted by the same people who posted the daft question (several times) about the lad that strips at school and the Mum forced to give her daughter oral sex. Both are written in the same language and signed off in exactly the same way. This is not a real question in my belief. If it was there would be more information. This is a pair of 14 year olds trying to shock.

Hey, this is my honest opinion befroe anybody jumps down my throat AGAIN!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006):

Rape is when you don't consent to sex. If you enjoyed it and have done it since, this wasnt rape.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2006):

Angelicc agony aunti can understand your mother kicking you out coz you step-dad raped because she most likely didn't believe you or your step-dad told her that you came on to him.

He raped you and your away from him but now you sleeping with him for enjoyment....i don't understand. why would you want the guy who raped you in your life? let alone touching you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (21 May 2006):

eddie agony auntI really hope this is not an actual question. PLEASE, folks, when you have a question, give us some more details. Too many blamks lead to too scenarios and possabilities. It's difficult to offer appropriate advice like that.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006):

Rape means forced sex without consent, sweetheart. Yet you care for this man and your mother kicked you out.Confusing. Whats the real deal here?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2006):

bonym agony auntI dont honestly believe what I am reading here. If your stepdad "raped" you why has your mum kick you out, it was him who did the wrong and how on earth can you enjoy sex with a rapist? This sounds a bit dodgy to me, you are not serious are you? I mean the guy is a perve and a loser if he raped you, but you wanna go back for seconds and thirds. All of you my dear need therapy, no lie, I mean it. This is an awful situation. xXx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006):

If you enjoy it, then it's not quite rape now is it? Ah I see where this is going now...... I say threesome with the mum!

[triple-sec sigh]

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ill give you everything +, writes (21 May 2006):

ill give you everything agony auntyou need someone that raped you? why didnt she kick HIM out? the whole thing is confusing...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0468525000032969!