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My parents object to idea of me living with my partner before marriage... I'm 23 so what should I do?

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Question - (29 December 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have been dating a really good man for a few months. Things are going well, but we still have issues that we are working through. At the end of the school year, I might be moving and he has offered to come with. By that time, we will have been together for a year. Currently, he still has his apartment, but we spend every night and day together at my place, so its almost as if we are living together.

The issue is that my parents feel that is absolutely unacceptable to live with someone before marriage. But from my perspective I don't think its a bad idea. I'm 23, will have finished my master's degree and am moving to pursue my doctorate. I am taking care of myself financially and have lived the past year alone. I don't need to live with someone, but I think it would make life more fun. He is a major source of emotional support and treats me amazingly well, and he's willing to move wherever I need to go. I don't think it would be fair to ask him to move across the country for me and then tell him to go find his own apartment. He does have some issues, he hasn't really found a career yet and he doesn't have a degree, but he's working on figuring out what he wants to do with himself. Additionally, he is taking care of his financial responsibilities. I feel like I have my act together, and moving in with him will not negatively affect my goals or life plan. What do I do about my parents? Do I ask him to get his own place and then end up spending our time at one apartment anyways?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005):

hello,

first of all, you are a grown woman. you sound ambitious, intelligent, and you are financially independant..as is your boyfriend. i think it's time to make the decision in your life that is best for you. you have a great guy who is willing to move across the country to be with you, so i say he is deffinitly dedicated to you. its time to start making some decisions on your own..like whom to live with. as a 23 year old, it truely isn't any of your parents' business. yes, they re your parents and they certainly are entitled to their opinions but you are the one in charge here of your own life!! if it's not going to hurt anyone and you can see yourself being with this man for a long time, i would say go for it! financially speaking, it doesn't even make sense for the two of you to shell out money for 2 apartments when you only really need one.

cut the mom and dad strings and go out there and live your life with the man you love :) best of luck!

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A female reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (29 December 2005):

They will get over it. Do what makes you happy.

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