A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've spent a lot of time at my mum and her boyfriend's house this week and I've heard him call my brother a little scrote, douchebag, idiot, prick, pillock. He also threated to smash his wii and cut his signed football in half. He has also banned him from seeing his school friends for a month and actually banned him from speaking at the dinner table last night.I spoke to my mum about it today when he wasn't around and said she said he was just a disciplinarian and I was overreacting and that it would do him good in the long run. Is there anyhing I can or should do here? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 LISTEN TO (read) those responses which have preceded mine (this one).... and be prepared to intervene if your brother actually IS in danger, as I suspect. THAT is what great Sisters do (mine would!).....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, KristinaMarchant +, writes (1 January 2013):
You need to speak with your brother and ask him if he wants to come and live with you. Forget about talking further to your mother or to your step father. You need to find a way to remove him from this situation as fast as possible. The damage being done to his psyche is terrible. You have to also tell him that none of these words are true. Tell him this: "You are my brother and I have known you for far longer than this man has known you. I can say that he is a liar and that you are an incredible person and you have so many gifts to offer. You are {mention 3 great qualities he has}. Please don't listen to mom's boyfriend. When he talks to you like that, he is really talking to himself. He doesn't like himself and he takes it out on you because you are young. He knows that you are twice the man he is, even at your young age, so he tries to bring you down. Don't listen to him because you are amazing." If you can't tell him to his face, write him a letter. He has to hear this!Tell his school and ask them for advice on what you should do. Also ask a male figure in your brother's life to confirm your words of praise. He needs to hear this from a man whom he respects. Goodluck to you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 January 2013):
 This is NOT discipline, this is abuse. Your mother's boyfriend has no business, parenting your brother anyways. Can your mother not parent her own children?!
Where is your father in all this? If anymore of it persists, I would threaten to call social services on your mother depending upon the age of your brother. Also, call your father and report this nonsense.
This man has no right controlling your brother and threatening to damage his property. Property damage alone, is a criminal offense. I would threaten legal action if the man cannot get a lid on his angry discrimination.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 January 2013):
 Your mom is delusional if she thinks abuse is good discipline. His threats are very serious. Abuse by step parents are very common. They look at step children as pests, so they delibrately try to get rid of them. It won't be long before threats do become physical abuse. Have a tape recorder and record your mom's boyfriend's foul mouth. Then tell your dad about it if he's still in your lives. Hopefully he will be able to take your brother more often. Your mom can't be rely on. She is protecting her romance at the expense of her beloved son.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012):
What age is your brother... I have a 19yr old son and I wouldn't even let his dad talk to him in that manner, this is verbal and emotional abuse..
If your brother acting out, your mother needs to discipline him, not her bf.. And calling him disgusting names and threatening him with violence is not on..
Make it plain to your mum that you will not tolerate this on his behave.. And if she does not have a strong word in bf ear then your sure social work will.
I need to stress though social work will not take this lightly and you may find yourself having to take your brother for a while.. Teenage boys are no picnic believe me, but with rules and boundaries life can be a joy and liveable .. My hubby and I are also raising two under 5's..and our son ..
Family do fall out its natural, it's the way we handle it that counts.. And your mums bf is way outta line.
Hope his helps keep strong and keep us posted..
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