A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This problem is one I don't really know where to get help for. Asked here.My husband's become very, very obsessive over fitness, to the point where he loses his temper if he can't get to do it.A neighbor told me they'd seen him running down the street in a crop top and running briefs (he'd taken mine, probably) and he was cursing and yelling and saying things like "Damn Trudeau, need him out of office, FUCK FUCK, FUCK!"He's always been into fitness but this is going way too far.I've noticed this change over the past six or so weeks.He's been spending more and more time obsessing over meal plans and tweaked my meals so they were small portions.But we don't exactly make huge portions, and my culture's cuisine is fairly healthy anyway. I'm Indo-Canadian, and my culture's centered around home cooking more than takeout food.My husband's white and well, doesn't really have any culture's cuisine.It's not like we eat burgers and fries every night either.I felt humiliated seeing how tiny the portions of food were.I've told him I want to do the cooking but he's insistent he does it.It's not that I've got a problem with his cooking but I've become concerned about it.We've been married for 13 years now and our anniversary is happening near Christmas. We met via a running club, incidentally enough.But there's been other arguments lately.He's obsessive about investing in cryptocurrency and wants ME to get involved, but I've told him no, not until we discuss with an expert on finances.I'm normally better informed on finances, and do the bulk of financial things.He wants to fly out to LA to go to a crypto conference in July to see what it's like.Now, to be honest, I wouldn't mind going to LA; I got friends there, they've been there 5 years now.But not for that, I've heard stories about crypto being financially risky.I'm starting to worry my husband's got a mental health issue.He's also been starting to wear my running crop tops and sports briefs and taking selfies and posting about his weight on social media and relying on thinspo sites for inspiration. I noticed skid marks in one of the running briefs, it was obvious whose it was.I'm concerned about this whole situation and thinking I may have to divorce him.I thought we had a good solid marriage but am now so concerned I don't know what to do.Would going to a psychiatrist help?I've asked my husband about it but he keeps being indecisive on the issue.If you were in my situation what would you do?Need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2022): We often get posts from spouses concerned that their husbands or wives have been somehow affected by lockdown; but that's not necessarily the only reason people are getting weird. People are inundated with too much information, addicted to social media, never put their phones down; and watch way too much TikTok, or YouTube. People just become impulsive or bored with their lives in general; and just go overboard searching for something to give their lives meaning or excitement. Lockdown didn't turn everyone in net-zombies and super-compulsives; people get wild ideas and do stupid things period! Cuz that's how people do!
I'm going to be honest with you for the sake of other readers. I get very skeptical of the authenticity of many posts when they lead up to crop tops and cross-dressing husbands. We have a few rascals who think they're creative writers who make up stories that always share the common theme of the cross-dressing husband who takes pics of himself in bikinis and crop-tops. Perhaps it's a popular trend these days, but I'll call-out you rascals when I see you!
You can't compel people to seek mental-health treatment; unless they are a danger to themselves, you, or the public. You might try a family-intervention, to see if you can urge him to see someone professional; because you are concerned about his strange behavior as of late. You should also try to convince him that your concern is so serious, that you feel the fate of your marriage is at stake. Inform him that you want him to take you seriously, you can't handle his behavior much longer; and at this juncture, he had better consider how important this marriage is to him. He is not being himself; and you feel he should seek help to determine why?
It could be attributed to midlife-crisis; but he may just have gone a little looney-tunes from injecting steroids, or ingesting too many workout-supplements with questionable (or dangerous) hidden-ingredients.
When matters have reached a stage when people are jeopardizing your health and wellbeing, or your finances; and they've become obstinate and overbearing, get a lawyer. Don't even mess around with stupid or crazy. Get legal-counseling and protect yourself from it. You can't force him to do anything, he is a grown-man; but your financial-stability and savings for the future could be in jeopardy. Now is the time to take action; or he will drag you down the rabbit hole with him, for whatever reasons or possible motives behind it.
Make sure funds cannot be transferred without your signature. Keep him away from your personal savings or investment accounts. Read all your account statements. You may do most of the household accounting; but he is your husband, and has access to all the funds.
I can't see much you can do about him wearing your crop tops, it's obviously to showoff his abs, pectoral muscles, and the broadness of his shoulders. With exceptions like floral prints, or neon colors; women's running shorts can't be distinguished from men's running shorts. Especially, if they're the really short style with high cuts above the thigh, or side-slits that reveal the outer-thighs. You can get him the male-version that looks much like yours, since wearing yours bothers you in principle. He may find more freedom of movement, and he's not necessarily getting any particular thrill from cross-dressing. The skid-marks come from high-potency workout-supplements and shakes. They cause leakage.
Guys who obsess over fitness and bodybuilding are usually quite vain; and want people to checkout their work progress. It's not enough to look in the mirror, they've got to show it off to the world. Gay-men wear the male-version of the crop tops too. There are popular sites for sexy male-fitness-wear. Some like cutting-off the bottoms of tee shirts or purchase body-builder fitness wear that almost resembles lady's fitness-wear. Not saying your husband is gay; because many straight-guys shop these sites as much as we do. Just go online and check it out. Maybe you can get stuff that flatters his chiseled-physique; and it will give you a little more peace of mind knowing they're designed for the male body. Body-builders like close or tight-fitting clothing that their muscles pop through. They might not wear them to the gym, but look around on the beach. Go to a gay club in the summertime. The fashion show is on full display. Straight-men mimic these "gay-inspired" fashion-sportwear; because they showoff the hot-bod.
As for crypto-currency, try and convince your husband to sit-down and consult with a financial and investment advisor with you; before he makes hasty decisions with "your" money. His money is also YOUR money!
If you think he has gone total wackadoodle; then offer him the final-ultimatum of marriage-counseling, or a divorce. Either or, and mean it!!! If you just nag, or make idle-threats; you'll go around and around forever; while things get progressively worse, and possibly irreversible. It's time to make your spouse take you seriously! He won't, if he knows you're scared to follow-through on anything; and he will do all sorts of crazy things without consulting with you. He could drive you into bankruptcy!
In any case, see a lawyer. Don't waste your time fighting crazy or stupid.
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