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My friend won’t accept no for an answer over a particular situation.

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2023) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2023)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

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So this is a really odd scenario. When I was 13 my parents built a granny annex next to our house - it was for my grandmother to live in after my grandad died- when she also passed away my sister and I had sleepovers in it and we have lots if family members who live abroad and would regularly visit and would stay in there.

One of my friends loved the annex- she would always joke she’d move in one day.

After we left school and went to separate colleges and lost touch.

When we were 20 she contacted me asking if my parents would rent out the annex to her as she wanted to move out of home. My parents never wanted to rent out the annex as it was for family to stay so I explained this to my friend.

18 months later she contacted me again asking the same, however this time she could provide my parents with a landlord reference. Once again I told her no- explaining my parents won’t rent it out.

Over the years she now and then got in contact to ask - each time I said no- with the same explanation.

Eventually she found a guy, got pregnant and they got themselves a nice flat and she stopped bothering me.

In 2015 she contacted me again- this time about her friend needing a place to stay - I again explained that my parents will never rent it out - hoping she’d just finally accept it.

Just before lockdown she contacted me asking if her pregnant step sister could move in the annex. She was a little forceful pointing out that seeing as travel restrictions were being put in place our family wouldn’t be able to fly over so she knew it was empty.

This did annoy me as it’s none of her business whether it was empty or not.

I texted her back (after talking to my parents) explaining that the annexe would be kept empty incase one of them would need to self isolate as they are both high risk.

She then tried to make me feel guilty about her step sister- who I’ve never met and quite frankly isn’t mind or my parent’s responsibility!

I thought I heard the last from her and today she’s contacted me AGAIN asking for another friend!!

I really don’t know why she keeps asking as she knows the answer will be no.

I’m tempted to just ignore her. Thoughts?

View related questions: grandmother, text

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (8 February 2023):

kenny agony auntShe seems to be putting a lot of time and energy into one annex, almost like she is obsessing over it.

If its not her trying to move into it, its everyone she knows, then she makes you feel guilty about her step sister.

I don't know why she keeps on at you about this?. Give her your parents number and let them tell her its not possible for anyone other than family to move in.

If your tempted to just ignor her, well maybe thats not really such a bad idea.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 February 2023):

Honeypie agony auntShe keeps asking because she HOPES that she can find the "right" thing to say to make you feel "guilty" and say yes instead of no.

If the only contact you have with her is about this annex, I'd just block her. Or if you want to make sure she possibly doesn't ask again, TELL her next time she asks, that you feel she doesn't understand the word NO, so you will instead wish her well and block her because this has become ridiculous.

I have to ask why does she keep asking you and not your parents? It's THEIR house! and THEIR annex!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2023):

This sounds really weird. Why are you still in contact with this person? She's not taking you seriously and is always trying to prove that your word means nothing.

I would delete this person from my life.

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A female reader, RitaBrown United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2023):

Well, I guess if you don't ask you don't get. Your friend lives in hope...

But it sounds like you and she aren't really friends any more so I can understand your annoyance if she only contacts you to ask if she can rent the property.

If you're not really in touch any more and you don't have mutual friends why not just block her?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2023):

First of all this person is not a friend. Friends do not come to you for favours all of the time, or with demands, or just when they want something. Secondly you have made the enormous mistake of continually bothering to get back to her with reasons why the annex will not be rented out. Once you start explaining it and justifying it you are acting as if you are obliged to let them live there. As if they have some sort of rights to live there. This is where you went wrong and why she continually ignores what you say and starts it again.

Forget about reminding her that you are not letting it out - what is the point if she continually ignores it - she is trying to wear you down. Just ignore her request. She will know why.

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