A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have cried my eyes out tonight. My fiance of 3 years disrespected me and my family. I'm in disbelief and denial. Here is the story. We are in LDR right now, sometimes the frustration is too much and mostly from his part. He has done a lot for me and us and have done all he could to make it work but recently he is restless and is pushing me to move faster to be together. Few times we have had arguments but tonight for no reason he started picking on me and ended up telling me F you and your whole family. I was shocked started crying.. He called me in few minutes in shock he cried and apologized and said he couldn't believe what he said and will do whatever it takes to make it up. But for me it's over. He was the nicest and most polite guy I have ever met. No problem ever and all of the sudden this happened. He begged me for a second chance but I just can't. Am I over reacting? What would you do? Thank you for your help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): op - Ruby the problem is LDR and my ex. My family are not involved. My ex still hasn't moved on and my fiance is very unhappy about it. When he started using f word he pointed my ex first and then me and my family, he didn't name anyone but just said F your ex you and the whole family.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): Hi I'm the OP- Thank you for your help. We talked about it and he said I feels horrible for what happened and didn't mean it at all. I know he has done alot for me, lots of sacrifices too. We live thousands of miles away and haven't been able too see each other for a year and half due to my work which is not flexible and he did everything to come here but couldn't get a visa. He is extremely frustrated and misses me too much as I do miss him and all build up to make that moment. He told me that he feels I don't acknowledge what he is doing and what he has been trough to be with me. Also he told he is very uncomfortable that my ex is in contact and he has no control because he is not here. I have a child and because of that I still see him or contact him which he doesn't like it. So he said still under no circumstances I should of acted like that and I will do everything for your forgiveness. So I will try to work on it as well. Thank you for your feedbak.
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (27 July 2015):
 What he said is indeed hurtful and out of character. I suggest to give yourself time and him time to calm down. Then talk about the situation again. He most likely had a bad day or something must have happened that he reacted so poorly. Try to listen and understand him.
I'm currently in a LDR and in the beginning, we were thinking of closing the gap in 3 years.. it's only been a year and a half and it's really taking a toll on the both of us to not be able to be physically together. This is considering we see each other quite often too. So I totally understand that your boyfriend wants to push for you two to be together sooner since it's been three whole years of LDR.
In this case, I think you may be over reacting a bit. Try to talk to him and work things out. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (27 July 2015):
If him disrespecting your family in this way is a regular occurrence, then maybe you should end it. But it was a one-off, then maybe you should talk about it instead - it was probably something said in the heat of an argument rather than something he actually meant.
I could be wrong, but I kind of get the impression that he feels your family is stopping you from being together. After a 3 year engagement, you both should be making the effort to lessen the distance between you. What are your future plans to do this? Are you using your family as an excuse to stop this happening?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 July 2015):
You said he started picking on you for no reason, but how do you know there’s not a reason? Perhaps you just can’t see what the reason is. There is bound to be something, especially if this was out of character. This was, of course, an unacceptable thing to say to you and he was right to apologise. But before you break things off for good, you should at least hear him out and ask him why he’s getting this frustrated. Perhaps you both simply don’t work as a long-distance couple. Perhaps it is time to wish each other well and move on, but even if that’s the case, it’s better to figure this out together and part on good terms. So, he’s done the decent thing and said sorry. Call him and talk it through.
I wish you all the very best.
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