A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a bad person right now and I feel like I just don't understand my ex or his family. We share a daughter so when she was asked to be his brother's flower girl, and I was also invited it seemed like going with my ex would be ok. I know now it may seem strange to other people but I was invited on my own, and I have known the bride years so it didn't seem odd to go. My ex has recently ended things between the girl he left me for, and things have started to improve between us a little. We never didn't get on but there was a tension. Anyway, so we went to this wedding together, stayed over night in a family room in a hotel, I admit he paid for it but he refused to let me. We had photos taken with our daughter, and we sat together. As he was the best man, it was at the top table, but we sat with our daughter, not just us! We did dance together at one point and had a few silly selfies taken with family and friends and in a few we are hugging. To me it seemed innocent, I never tried to make it seem like we were back together or that we were even thinking about it but when we got home and things died down after the wedding, he invited me on a works night out. We share a lot of mutual friends and before I had my daughter I did work with him, it was how we met, so I went along. A few drinks later and he started to get a bit touchy with me so I left. The next day he rang and basically asked when I was going to stop pretending and get back with him properly. I haven't even kissed him since we broke up and I don't see how he can think I'd want to get back with him. Maybe one day, but definitely not now. He cheated on me and I forgave him enough to let him still see his daughter as and when he wanted and I didn't mind the girl he cheated on me with came over birthdays or Christmas.His mum has told me that he thought because I was at the wedding, we had started to think things through and we're planning on getting back together. His mum has even told me that I l lead him on at the wedding, I just don't understand! Help!
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, get back together, my ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 July 2015):
 Parents are always on their children's side. What you should do is honestly tell her you went to the wedding because it's a special moment for your little girl and you want to offer her moral support. I am sure your son's life would be easier if you got back together, but just going to a wedding together would not erase the feeling of hurt and betrayal. If you are the one who cheated on her son, I am sure she would not be that forgiving of you. It may seem like the family is not showing empathy towards you but when they are in private I am sure his mom gave him a really hard time after he cheated and started a new relationship. I think it's a normal thing to want relationships reunited. It shows she still sees you as daughter in law. Tell all of them, forgiving takes time. It can't be because it's more convenient when you are there.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 July 2015):
 I think YOU were behaving with CIVIL manners at a wedding which IMHO is the right thing to do.
Your ex is just upset that he is being held responsible for his actions (cheating) but that doesn't mean YOU can't BEHAVE with grace and manners and a bit of fun at a wedding.
It would have been AWKWARD if you had acted like he wasn't there or created drama. Why ruin someone's big day?
I think since he is single atm, he was hoping to AT LEAST get a little "something something" (sex) from you. He was HOPING for the stereotypical woman behavior at a wedding getting emotional/horny and you... DID the right thing (for you) and turned him down.
His mother? Well OF COURSE she is siding with her son! I'm sure in HER book he can do no wrong! I don't think being friendly and having FUN at a wedding is leading him on, what a load of BS. And his Mom should stay out of this.
If you don't want him back, then don't do it. Don't let him try and manipulate you into thinking the lovely time at the wedding is how it's going to be. You know better.
You kept your behavior friendly, flirty (maybe) but DEFINITELY platonic. Shame he can't see that and be glad you KNOW how to behave at a wedding.
YOU, did nothing wrong here.
Chin up.
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