| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I have 2 children to different mothers! one child is 7 one child is 7 months. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago. Our relationship was great and i looked after my 7 year old child every second weekend, but as soon as my other child was born my girlfriend told me to choose between my eldest child or my new child; i cannot have both. It is tearing me up inside, i am not allowed to mention my eldest child and cannot have any relationship with my mum, dad ands brothers as they all have a good relationship with my eldest child. I tried to reach a compromise with my girlfriend but this just made her violent. She is the nicest person in the world as long as i don't have anything to do with my family and have no friends. What should i do?
View related questions:
violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 December 2005):
 Well it certainly looks like everyone is in agreement here..lose the controlling bitch and start pursuing custody of the little one. You owe it to yourself and your daughters.
A
female
reader, janleid +, writes (8 December 2005):
Unfortunately, violence and isolation go hand in hand. If she insists on telling you who you can and can not talk to its because she wants to control you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): BREAK UP, LEAVE AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!! If she truly loved you she would not make you choose between your daughters! That is not right, your daughters should come first before her. Your 7 year old was there before your girlfriend ever was. Ya'll are not married she has no right to boss you around, even if ya'll were married she still wouldnt have the right to boss you, because it is a 2 way relationship. Not one person being the boss over the other. Leave her, and if she truly loves you she will come back and apologize and not make you choose. You might now want her back if you take a step back and look at the way she really is, but you got to seperate from her to see it.Ask her why she is so insecure and jealous that you cannot see both of your children? She needs to grow up and act like a mature adult and stop acting so childish.Does she feel like you put everyone first before her? That could be making her act like this. I dont like my husband talking to his aunt 3 or 4 times a day, because he puts her before me sometimes, and it makes me jealous. Get to the bottom of the problem then make your decision on if it a good reason for her not to want you to be with your family or not. Both of you need to make some compromises, but you need to see your family and daughters either way because they will and always have been there for you!
...............................
A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (8 December 2005):
 This is no way for her to be acting. That is your child, family and friends. She's not your boss and she shouldn't be controlling as she is. Who does she think she is? Why does she think she can treat you like this? It's not right at all to be making you choose between your two daughters. How do you think your eldest daughter would react when you're not getting her every second weekend anymore? What is she going to think? That her daddy wasn't allowed to talk to her because of his new baby and girlfriend. This is a tough question, but I wouldn't let her control you like this. Would you rather have all your family, daughter, and friends or her and your new baby? That's what you have to think about I guess. Who is more important to you? She doesn't seem like someone you should be spending the rest of your life with and making this kind of decision for. She doesn't seem very nice either. She may be nice when she gets what she wants, but what happens if she don't get what she wants?
Talk to her about this and let her know that what she is doing isn't right. Is she jealous of you in some way, of your other daughter? There is no reason to be, I'm sure you love the 7 months old as much as the 7 year old. Ask her what bothers her so much about everyone that she doesn't want you talking to, there has to be something.
I'm sorry that my advice isn't the best, but this is definitely a tough situation I'm proud I haven't had to go through. I don't know how anyone can treat someone in a such a way as telling him he can't even talk to his family. There's got to be something definitely wrong.
Good Luck sir, you will need it!
...............................
A
female
reader, Thistle +, writes (8 December 2005):
Okay, were you cheating on your girlfriend of three years and thats how you got someone else pregnant? If you have been with her for three years but have a 7month old with someone else it doesn't take much to figure out that something happened. I dont want to judge you as you may have split up but I think you are lucky that she has stayed with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005):
"...i cannot have both"
HAHAHAHAHA
That would be the day that this bitch would make me dump my own flesh and blood.
Look at people you have admired. Role models. Is this the kind of weasley, emasculated, cowardly action they would do?
I cannot imagine anyone but a scummy, p-whipped, low-life loser going alone with her plan to mentally damage your kid for life. Is that the kind of person you want to be?
There are plenty of vaginas in the world- kick her to the curb. And if she does come sniveling back- dont take her, she is irreemable.
...............................
A
female
reader, spedmjr07 +, writes (8 December 2005):
Dah! Need you even ask that question? You can tell your gf to hit the road! Ultimatums do not work in any relationship! If your gf truly loved you, then she would accept your daughters! If you choose your gf over your daughters, you are making the biggest mistake in your life. My ex chose his gf over his children and our children have suffered emotionally from this and it has had a huge negative affect on them with their grades. Straight A's to straight F's. The kids still talk to him, but it will never be the same and they have almost no respect for their father now. Do not make the same mistake! Your children cannot be replaced and their love is unconditional. Your gf can be replaced! You can never have any kind of loving and healthy relationship when the love is conditional, which your gf seems to be putting a condition on her love! It's poison! Please, do not take the bait! You will regret it for the rest of your life!
...............................
|
