A
female
age
30-35,
*lrbabes
writes:My boyfriend of 3 months is Greek, but study's over here in the city i live in for most of the year. I see him every day, and although we haven't been together for a very long time, as we have spent so much time togther we have quickly fallen in love. Unfortunately this month he went home to Greece for the summer, so that means 4 months without seeing him. I'm 17 and a half, and he's 18.His parents have said i can go for a holiday to Greece and stay with them all for as long as i like, me and my boyfriend would have our own area of the house and would generally have an amazing couple of weeks. I work, so the money is not a problem, and i don't start college again until September. I will also only be 3 months off being 18 at the time i want to go. The problem is my mother, she worries about me a lot, and has immediately said no when i have asked her, just replying "next summer, yes. you are too young". I don't understand what the problem is! I know its another country, but i would even have to fly alone as my boyfriend would fly back to England to take me back to Greece. I would be in no danger and its just for 2 weeks of my life. I really don't know what to do. I miss him so much already, i don't think i can cope with nothing to look forward to!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): I was 15 when i started working a steady job.. i had two... got 4 promotions.. 7 raises. That didn't mean i was dependent on only myself i still lived at home and had to abide by what my parents thought was safe for me. I didn't have to pay rent, car insurance at the time, electricity, water, all my food for every meal every day.
But when you're eighteen, and can't legally be controlled bu them, and will pay for own tickets, then there will be nthing stopping you from going. As long as you're prepared for the conequences your mom will lay down if you go against what she wants.
For instance.. she may say that if you want to fly to Greece and stay there for the summer, then you will have to pay rent. (if you don't already).
"If you won't live with the rules i give you, you won't live with the luxeries i give you" kinda thing.
Just put the trip on hold until you're eighteen, if that's what you want.
When my husband had just joined the army, and we weren't married yet, i snuck around to be with him all the time.. First he was gone for 4 months, then three weeks, then three more, now 12 months.. I can do whatever i want now that i live in my own apartment, but before that, even when i really missed him, i couldn't just go and visit him after not seeing him for 4 months.
So i know how you feel. I'm just trying to instill the reality of your situation to you.. no matter how unfair you think it is, or how much you hate it, the only way to get around it is to get older and prepare for consequences.
A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (25 May 2009):
 I know exactly how you feel as I have a greek boyfriend, try and either find a compromise with her or ask her to go another time if college and studies are becoming an issue.
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A
female
reader, slrbabes +, writes (25 May 2009):
slrbabes is verified as being by the original poster of the question Something i forgot to add was that she said earlier on in the year that she wouldn't mind me going on holiday abroad with a few friends, but when i have asked her about this she hasn't really even considered it.
"You have to take certain responsibilities yourself and not be dependent on other people before you can do something like go to Greece for the summer."
I have had a steady job in the same place for a year now, and have earnt myself 2 promotions, so therefore i fund my own life and only living at home as its closer to the college i go to.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 How do you know you would be in no danger? There are plenty of dangers for people travelling in a foreign country - particularly when they are young and not travel savvy.
I'm 22 and I don't think it's appropriate either. There's no way my parents would have let me travel alone with a boyfriend at that age, and while I wouldn't have liked it at the time either I can appreciate why your parents don't think it's a good idea.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): I also find in inapropriate for a girl your age to fly to another country to live with a boy she has barely been with. Your parents don't want you getting ahead of yourself maturity wise.. and growing up wise.. and they definitely want your safety. I would never have even asked my parents to do such a thing at your age. I'm not much older than you, but I am married, moved out of my parents house a long time ago, and had a job for 4 years, but now depend on my husband, as i am pregnant. You have to take certain responsibilities yourself and not be dependent on other people before you can do something like go to Greece for the summer. I would certainly not allow my daughter to do this at seventeen. And turning 18 doens't automatically make you mature enough for something like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Are you Greek??? If not, get out of this relationship as fast as you can!!! Greek will marry Greek .. they are well known for that ... and I am talking out of my own experience and know many other girls taht went through the same thing ...
Doesnt matter how much his family loves you ... you will never be able to stay forever w him unless you are Greek!
Good luck
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