A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married 20 years. We got married young. He has never seemed to have as high sex drive as me and initially I just accepted it as that. Over the years I discovered that he had interactions with others....not sure how far it went as he doesn't like to talk about it since admitting that they took place. He is also fixated on porn and is often home alone while I work. I am not a prude and enjoy porn too but it seems as tho this takes preference over our sexual relations. It'll be a month before we have sex. I think I have tried everything. We have talked about fantasies tried them out ...whatever he says he is into. We have experimented online together had some outdoor experiences. This all works well for a little while but then things revert back to normal. A lot of his porn is gay porn and I accept that he may be bi curious. Or that maybe it's just that it's something different. Anyway...recent incident....I found out he had a snapchat account just for sex chat. At first I didn't know what it was about so told him I was upset. Again all men friends. Anyway he since opened an account for me so we could do it together. This was fun for a week. Now he still hides what he is doing from me. We don't do it together. If a send him a sexy snap he critisezes the pic. But he is on it every day on and off all day with his male snap chatters. Once again no sex for me but he masterbates daily with porn or snapchat? Do you think he just got me an account so he could carry on doing what he is doing with no guilt? Is there anything else I can do to help the situation? I feel like I do try but I am no longer sure what he wants. Do u think he is gay or just trying to find something that is not me. I have felt insecure about myself and our relationship for most of our years together. I keep trying whatever he wants, but now I am realizing it's perhaps not enough. He does love me and the kids and I can't fault him in that department. I just try shut myself off to the sex side.....tell myself what does it matter if he is a good husband in other regards......but it is slowly destroying the happy friendly open person I have always been. This is starting to make me miserable all the time and I don't want to become a miserable bitter person
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2014): I really don't seem to understand your husband. Half of him sounds like the immature 13/14 year old boys in my grade, and the other half i dont understand. I think you need to sit him down, look in to his eyes and really have a serious talk with him. If he were gay, then why is he with you? talk to him, he may just feel like he didnt get the chance to experiment when he was young, and is doing it now.Maybe, you both can have a little break. not a divorce, but just a little time out.
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