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I'm not sure about my feelings towards my baby's father

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2006)
A female , *ngel Underneath writes:

Feelings for my babies father.

I started dating a guy about 2 years ago when I was on the rebound from splitting up from another partner. Things moved very quickly and within three months I was pregnant and he was talking about marriage and I panicked and decided I wanted to be on my own which obviously hurt him very much. I still don't know if it was pregnancy hormones or just that things were too intense. I didn't really miss him at all so assumed I had made the right decision. Our daughter is now seven months old and I have started to think about him a lot which is confusing. I am single and he is single now ( just split up with a lady he was with for about a year) When he got together with this lady I was not at all jealous and pleased for him so its rather confusing that over the last couple of weeks I should be thinking about him romantically.

I'm not sure what to do. If I was single without a child then I would date him and see where it goes but obviously there is our daughter to consider and his feelings also so I don't feel that I have the right to " see where something goes" when I don't know how I feel myself ( as in I know I can't promise to rush into playing happy familes) but I don't see how I can figure out how I feel without dating him. Should I just leave the poor man well alone or do I owe it to our potential family to start something again

View related questions: jealous, split up

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A female reader, ask aunty heather +, writes (1 January 2006):

you should give the relationship a second go for the sake of your child. however you should only do this if you both want it equally.your ex partner is involved with your d doesnt work outt itaughter by the sheer fact he is her father so she will see him anyway. you should go and talk to him and see how you both feel about each other. if it doesnt work out. at least youll be able to say you tried!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005):

you don't have to rush into anything why not date him? Your better off doing it now and see where it goes before your daughter gets oldere and knows what's going on. Take your time just don't give him mixed signals just let him know your feelings You can be friends even though you have a child it's better for the baby and for you guys cause you should be friends before lovers it works better that way Good luck!

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2005):

kellyO agony auntHi dearie, my own advise really is that if u have feelings for him then u should tell. Explain to him all u have said here.Tell him that u would like u guys to date but at a slow pace to find if things would work.

By doing the above you will indeed be able to explore more into ur feeling for him and go at whatever pace u want. He will understand if u choose to reconsider since u have aleady told him about ur feelings initially.

I hope he is willing to give u another chance but its still worth trying.

Goodluck.

I

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