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I'm getting paranoide about my boyfriend's marrieds, female friend. How can I keep myself calm.

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2008)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

Maybe I am blowing this all out of proportion (past scars and all that), but i am very anxious about tonight... my bf has a friend who's a girl and they've been hanging out a lot, and enjoy each others' company. Also, they have nearly identical careers in a major way. She is married and tonight we will see her and her husband. As far as I know, she and her husband have a fine relationship, and isn't my bf allowed to have friends? I shouldn't care, but find myself incredibly paranoid and dreaading 2-night!

How can i keep calm and be myself? My heart has been beating wildly all day, and I can't concentrate!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):

No Shandygirl, your advice was relevant, but she was nervous and she needed to go to this thing and find out the score. Maybe she noticed things, and your advice will be just the thing she needs. Not wrong, just jumping the gun a bit... I'm sure she's glad for the help, and will use it if she thinks anything is strange... Big hugs, you tried to help, and for that I'm sure she is gratefull.

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A female reader, shandygirl United States +, writes (1 August 2008):

shandygirl agony auntObviously I have had too many crappy experiences. Sorry for the negative advice. Go with everyone elses advice, and see how it goes.

Let us know how it turns out.

xoxo

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):

OK Babes, take a deep breath, let it out. RELAX. Stay calm. Take a deep breath, relax, let it out, stay calm.

You've done very well. You've been understanding, you've accepted he has friends, but of course this thing makes you nervous. You know that everything will be ok. Her husband will be there, your partner will be there. Everything will be OK. Do you think he'd take you there if anything was going on? You can leave anytime you want to. You know they're friends. You want her to like you, you want him to be proud. He will be proud, there is nothing to worry about. You will look beautifull. He loves you. You will be charming and funny. You will be the woman that he choose to love. I know your nervous, but you need to relax and calm down. As my friend says, try very hard to SMILE. I know you look great. I know you'll make him proud. Go and ask him for a little hug and kiss. It'll soon be over, you just got to get out that door and be on your way.

Your the most interesting, beautiful woman in the world, and if you relax, everyone will be able to see. If you don't feel it, then pretend. Fake it to make it. Smile as if you've got all the confidence in the world. Your a bride at a wedding, your a teacher in front of her first class, your an actress at the oscars. I know you can do it babes.. Smile and show him just what a strong woman can do when she puts her mind to it. Then come back and tell us just how good you looked, and tell us how everybody complimented you, and how good you felt.

You can do it, I have every trust in you, now relax, breathe and Smile. Your taxi cab's waiting and your look great. Big hugs to you, come back and tell us how things went. :)

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A female reader, shandygirl United States +, writes (1 August 2008):

shandygirl agony auntI am the same way. I can't really make you feel any better. They have been hanging out alot? What IS THAT? Maybe you should research "Emotional Affair" on the internet. Here is a link.... http://www.shirleyglass.com/introduction.htm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008):

relax. you are going to meet with her and her husband. you will be able to tell right away how good their relationship is and hopefully it will put your mind at ease. at your ages, you cant be judging him for having female friends. all it will do is make him lose respect for you. a good healthy relationship always involves an extreme amount of trust. you cant have a relationship without it. destined to fail. no reason to be paranoid. if for some reason she is all over him tonight, (which i doubt she will be,) then get paranoid.

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