| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, thankyou for taking time to read this.I have been with my bf for 6 years, however i cant help but feel neglected.He never bothers with valentines, birthdays, anniversarys, he just never seems so spare a thought for me, its not like he doesnt celebrate, he just hasnt got time for me.It was our 6 year anniversary in november 2006, as soon as i woke i text him to say happy anniversary, the text back was 'havnt got time to text'. Birthdays, he has got me cards before, but in the early years, valentines he took me to paris , but again in the early years, he wants to get married 1 day and have children with me, but i cant even imagine him proposing? he would have to think about me!!Christmas has just gone, he took 3 of his staff out for a meal, he would never have taken me anywhere, i asked him to take me out, and he took me for a meal at the same place he took his staff, and it wasnt romantic, he moaned about being tired alot, and he doesnt talk much to me when hes eating, and dont get me started on new year tonight, were having a bit of a small party at my mums where i live (we have a house, but i wont move in untill i feel hes comitted and has time 4 me) yet i dont think hes coming, hes at his mums playing the xbox.I just feel unwanted and unimportant, i have insecurity problems also, (thats another story) however hes just not interested. He has his own business and works very hard,he even bought me a sports car, but its like i dont exist, what doi do, walk away?im always last on his priority list, when i talk about the above, he just rolls his eyes.Dont get me wrong, hes a good man deep down, he has his good points, and would never cheat. i just dont know what do do, i guess im spending new year without him tonight
View related questions:
anniversary, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boobookitty69  +, writes (4 November 2014):
Start your own "list"-a brand new (and better than his!) one-and rather than putting HIM last on it,do not put him on it AT ALL!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Before attacking this guy I would say you need to have a "proper" talk with him, one that doesn't involve his eyes rolling up.
If that doesn't work. Well, harsh truth time? This guy does not see you being his wife nor does he want any more commitment or children with you. If you can't have one proper conversation then you're relationship has long been over.
Men especially are gutless at admiting this; they feel safe and secure in a relationship "I've got a girlfriend so I don't need to look after her any more" they become quite complacement. Men that do this do it because they are with a weak female.
You and your insecurity are also a big contributing factor to how he has stopped showing romantic affection to you. For a guy to respect and truely love a women, that women needs to be able to stand up for herself. If you allow someone to walk over you, they'll walk over you. Sad, but true.
If I missed a girlfriends birthday, valentimes or christmas I would either a) being overwhelmed with a terrible feeling to do something doubly special and promise myself I'll never negect it again or b) realise that I just don't care about her in the same way any more and that it was sadly over.
Any way, before taking any of this in to consideration, talk to him. He could obviously do more to reassure you, but you could also do more to assert yourself. I couldn't imagine any girl I have been close to ever standing for the way you're treated!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (1 January 2007):
 I would suggest doing something to get his attention with something like "See ya later! I'm moving on!" If he really wants you he will decide that losing you would be a bad thing and maybe he needs to invest ALOT more in to keeping you, OR, he won't chase after you at all, which should tell you that 6 years is enough time wasted on a man without enough maturity to treat you with the respect that you deserve. Simple as that.
...............................
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 January 2007):
 You have with this guy for six years, no commitment and no marriage.
He is not making an effort at all but of course you already know this.
He rolls his eyes when you talk about it?
So that it does not sound like you are nagging, sit him down and tell him you have some serious to talk about, you feel that the relationship is not going anywhere and what they both of you do to work it out?
If he is not willing to talk about it and work at this relationship, you will have a lot of lonely NYE's.
I am not saying that he should take you to Paris every year, but to tell you that "he has not got take to text", is he for real?
It is up to you to decide, if you want a better life, take responsibility for what you can change in your life, move on and meet someone else that deserves you.
xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Well you can't continue like this for the next 6 years.The question is what are YOU going to do about it? You are allowing this to happen and have done nothing about the declining relationship. Fight for the relationship to improve or simply move on.
...............................
|
