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I'm 15 and I do not want to break up with A as I love her very much, but my mother strongly objects to our relationship. What are my options?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Gay relationships, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2017)
A female Canada age 22-25, *ollfacez writes:

So, I will give a bit of background first off. I have known this girl, I'll call her A, for three years.

In early 2016, i started feeling different about her, and I begin to have romantic feelings about A. I already knew from asking before that she was lesbian as well.

In November I asked her out, and she said yes. We have been dating since then, with no problems, until yesterday.

Her parents are divorced, and her dad is homophobic, but her mom knew about our relationship and was 100% supportive. Eventually, she told her dad since he kept asking her about us.

So, her dad told my mom.

My mom is Catholic and homophobic, though she refuses to admit it.

She is very angry and she does not want us to be together anymore. A and I go to the same school, so we will see each other the majority of the time anyways. But I do not want to break up with A as I love her very much... What should I do?

View related questions: divorce, lesbian

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A female reader, Saeyoung United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2017):

Saeyoung agony auntContinue dating her, I don't get why you should let ur mother interfere with your relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2017):

You are very young, and parents don't have to be homophobic to not want pre-teeners dating. At your age, 13-15, labeling yourself as a lesbian might be a bit premature. There is a lot you must experience; and you have to undergo much more psychological-development before you can assume your sexual-identity. You think you know very early what you're attracted to, but sometimes it will change.

Sometimes parents don't want you to confuse or influence other children; who may not exactly be what you think or want them to be. Their parents may be very much upset by it.

You have no choice but to respect your parents' wishes, or those of your friend's parents. They have a right to say who you date and who you don't; until you are of the age they decide it is okay.

Kids of a certain age don't handle heartbreak very well, and it effects their schoolwork, can cause deep depression, and makes them very moody. Nor can youngsters handle homophobia and discrimination from outsiders, without your parents' protection. If someone complains to your parents, they have no choice but to step-in. Whether they find it okay or not.

Parents have to monitor your behavior. Even if they are homophobic, as you say, they probably wouldn't let you date a boy if you're only 13! If you're rebellious and disrespectful, they will lay-down heavy rules and restrictions. That's what parents do.

Sorry, but you don't have a clue what love is at your age. People three times you're age are still learning.

You see each other at school, you can text each other anytime you like, and that is enough for the time being.

When you turn 18, parents can't really stop you; although they may try.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntCan you talk to your mum? Maybe you can explain to her that she is not going to make you become straight. Your mum might think it is a phase you are going through, but you need to be honest and tell her straight out that you are a lesbian.

I think because you are so young you might be best listening to your mothers advice. Stay friends and then when you both turn 18 you can do as you please as you will both be adults.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou should break up. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you'll probably break up sooner or later, as teen relationships usually do.

However, if you wait until you're 18 and stay friends with her in school, you can go to university and date who you want.

It seems like a long way off, but it really isn't. You have to be mature to date and this is one of the ways to show you can be mature.

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