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*azytim:O(
writes: Sorry that this is long. please read Hi, my names Tim, Im 25. My situation is very very complicated but I will try and explain it the best way I can.Im not sure if Its a relationship problem or what but I need help,Hope someone can understand my situation. I'll start from roughly the begining. My Biological father left me my Mum and my 2 disabled brothers when I was eight.Im the eldest Brother, my 2 younger brothers at the time were Jonny 5 and Christian 3, They had a genetic condition from birth called SMA (Spinal Musculer Atrothy) which is a musle wasting disease. I could of been born with this condition aswell but some people would say I was lucky. Anyway, Life was understandably tuff for my Mum looking after 2 disabled boys all on her own. When I was 10 she met someone else and had a Baby boy, Mark.Mums relationship fell apart with Marks Dad when we moved house 2 year's later. I was 13 and in Big school. The house had to be big enough to handle 2 kids in wheel chairs zooming around in elecrtric wheel chairs all the time. My life at school wasnt the best of times. I rarly did any homework and I kept lying to my friends about things I didnt have, I also said my Dad was a Millionaire, which he wasnt.At this time he was living in a caravan. I still saw my Dad but my 2 brothers were starting to not want to see him as much and mark started to not want to see his dad either, he was only 3. When I was 15 Mum Met a new Man called Roy through a dating agency. Mark was 5, His Dad had a child welfare officer come and observe mark as he thought that after them seeing my 2 other brothers being disabled and my mum not coping that they would grant him custody for Mark. It turned out that it would back fire on him and in the end after a court hearing Marks Dad was not allowed to see him, This is around the same time that my 2 other Brothers stopped seeing my Dad. Are you following me so far? I hope so. I had a tuff time especially around Birthdays and Christams's as my Dad was upset each time that he couldnt see them. I kept lying to him saying that they still love him and that they liked each birthday card and pressie he gave them, they didnt, but I couldnt tell Dad this. I didnt want him to be upset. I was 16 and my GCSE's went terrible, for the next year I didnt work. I was going out getting drunk with my friends and I stole a bit of money from my Mum each time I wanted to go out. I was addicted to the internet chat rooms back then aswell, at this time there was 3 differant charges - the phone bill itself which differs depending on what time of day I went on it and also a membership charge and a internet usage charge which was like having another phone bill. Basically I ran up a huge phone bill over 3 months, when the bill came in it was around £1,600! I had a job with my Dad which was realy good. At the age of 17 I was in charge of ordering parts and keeping stock reports. It was a good job, I loved it. My Mum got a loan out for the phone bill which I had repay. I was made redundant at 18 and for the next 6 years I was to be in and out of high tech jobs not realy getting anyway. My brother Jonny Died of his condition at the age of 19,I was 22.shortly after this my Girlfriend of 4 years leaves me.I loved her and my Mum thought of her as the daughter she never had.My Brothers death was a big big shock for me.I knew the time would come.It was horrible to see him go down hill over the years. My Mum now started to get alot of support finacially to help with hiring helpers for my other disabled brother Christian, before this we all had to help. Me being the eldest was always there to 'babysit' Plus I was the only other person besides my Mum that could lift them from one place to another, even the hired help we got couldnt do this. I worked nights so I was always there for my Brothers. It wasnt the main reason why I worked nights but it happened out this way. Roy always stayed at the weekends as he lived 20 miles away and has a boat. He still only comes weekends and they have been together 13 years now. Ok, Im starting to get to my imediate problem. Since my Brothers death I havent been in a proper job for more than a week. Ive got a new girlfriend now that my Mum doesnt approve of. I havent paid my Mum for rent for the past 4 months now and she wants to chuck me out. Ive no where to go and my new girlfriend is starting to get depressed about me not having a job. Im trying soo hard to get one but its becoming a nightmare as I live in a very small town and cant drive. Ive hardly any funds and I cant move away as I still want to see my Brothers and I especially want to be around Christian for how ever long he has left.My Dad cant help out and I dont have any other family. Roy and Mum are going to be getting Married soon and he will start to pay for the mortgage, I think this is a reason why she doesnt want me to stay. Both my other Borthers still live here, Marks now 14 and Christain is 19.I get on with Roy but I dont trust him. When my Grandma Died a few years ago My mum gave him her house and now it looks like he'll get half of this house. I feel like Im being pushed out of my Family with no where to go. My Mum seems to only care about rent. I must admit I havent been the best paying son and I think she thinks I take her for granted, maybe I do sometimes. Not sure if theres much help out there for me,just would like to tell people what im feeling right now. Thanks for listening, Tim
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): also do you feel you may benefit from talking through your grief.i myself lost a brother and feel i didnt greive the way i should have as i had to be strong for mum.it all seems a mess now but u can do it just take a step back sit down think what needs to be done then do it.all the best i hope this helps and good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): hi its really difficult.BUT it seems that you have alot of issues and they r spinning round in your head.try making a list of your priorities consider what is important to you then work on it have you spent time thinking about just what you want from life as in career wize find an interest,path,and follow it,and stick to it, Have you spoke to your mum about how you r feeling it is sometimes hard being the eldest child.you are old enough now to do what makes you happy you can still be there for your family to help and support them.Take some serious thinking time.if you feel that things are just to complicated then get some professional advice
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