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I told her that we were done but she still kept texting me

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2020) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2020)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I was seeing this girl for a few weeks and decided she wasn’t for me so text her to say I wasn’t feeling it and could we leave it there She’s text me a few times since but I’ve not replied because As far as I’m concerned I finished it and that was it done

I’ve seen her around and we’ve chatted but not about us or anything and after one time she text me again but I ignored it again. Now when I see her she gives me dirty looks and acts weird and I don’t know what I did wrong I told her it was finished so why did she keep texting

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2020):

Being rejected isn't an easy experience. It's a blow to the pride. If a person has a low self-esteem issue to begin with; receiving yet another blow is going to draw-out either retaliatory behavior, or they'll quietly surrender to the reality. She chooses to be proactive and lash-back. She wishes to cause you discomfort, shame, or embarrassment. What she's feeling. It's normal. You've been rejected, and you didn't always behave or respond to it rationally.

If you had consensual-sex before dumping her; she will feel somewhat duped, victimized, and insulted. As if you've gotten all you've wanted, and therefore she is disposable. That makes it harder for her to move on. It makes you a rat from her perspective; and she's not letting you off easily.

Avoid her in public. which should be easy to do, now that there's a resurgence of covid-restrictions limiting public-exposure these days. Except for the market and pharmacy; there are few places people can readily congregate these days. If you need to hangout in a pub or gym; you'll have to find a new place to do it. You'll have to wait-out the storm until it passes.

You can either change your number; or ignore, block, and delete her messages. No-contact has to be abrupt, consistent, and continuous to be effective. She has to go through phases of emotions before she comes to terms. It makes women feel undesirable and used, to be rejected by men. Nothing you can really do about that; except avoid her, and refuse to respond to her messages.

If you block her number, don't respond to unidentified-calls or messages...obviously! If you're forced to face her in public, avoid eye-contact, reverse direction, and choose another route. Best not to speak or exchange pleasantries; because it's just an excuse for her to bother you. You're the dumper; so you have to be somewhat unrelenting and inflexible at this point. Time and frustration will resolve the problem.

Be respectful to her as a person, and inwardly have compassion; but avoid all contact by choosing alternate routes when you need to go out in public.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2020):

Agree with the others - block her and dodge the areas where you know she will be.

She's sore over being dumped which is fine (most of us would be) but that's not your problem.

It sounds like she is choosing to misinterpret you being amicable for still being interested and therefore giving herself mixed signals.

You need to nip those mixed signals in the bud by blanking her in person the way you do in txt.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (19 November 2020):

kenny agony auntYou did nothing wrong, infact you were nothing but honest and told her you were not feeling it and could you just leave it there.

Normally someone would recieve a message like this and accept that nothing is going to happen and leave it at that.

I think if you see her again exchanging small talk mention again what you said in your text just to clear up any confusion.

I think if she keeps texting you are going to have to block her.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 November 2020):

Honeypie agony auntJust block her.

Be polite when you see her in person but don't get too "chatty" as she will see that as a "you are still interested".

Or if you can.. avoid her all together.

She might think you are blowing hot and cold. As in, you gave called it "over" but you still talk to her when you see her.

She gives you dirty looks because she doesn't like that she was dumped. Maybe she doesn't understand why, but that really is HER issue.

You aren't interested so stop talking to her, she isn't your friend.

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