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I looked at his bills, he saw me and ripped them out of my hands! Is there something to this?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2007)
A female Turkey age 41-50, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend lives far from me. he visit me every 4 months. he just visit me last week and we had a great time together. but there was one thing confused me. i saw he has lots of bills from his bag. and i started to checking one by one. some of them are our bills some are not. but when he saw i reading it, he try to take away those bills from my hand. he used lots of strength to get those..he never did that to me. is there something that i shouldnt know? i dont know what happend.. any suggestion?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 September 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntSorry sweetie, there is no bond closer than a husband and wife. If you aren't married, you wouldn't understand. You still have no right to look at his receipts or bills UNLESS he's spending YOUR money. Period.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007):

thanks for everyone here. there is something i have to explain. my boyfriend and me much closer than a married couple. i dont see whats the problem to check few receipts from supermarket and mall. and i didnt open his bag to get those. it was he took those out to check first under my nose then i got curious and waiting for him finish and get those from his hand. i feel hurt if he think its a private things. cos i would never feel that way to him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

You should not have been going through his bills without his permission, period.

A better way to deal with it would have been if you thought some of the bills were charges you BOTH incurred, to ask him to let you know what your share of them is. Then give him the money. Perhaps he would let you look at the joint bills - but I don't blame him for being upset at your behavior.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

forget wether you should have been looking or not, wether u live 2gether or not, means nothing. Hes hiding something, else he wouldnt snatch them back !

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A female reader, Courtney_ann United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

Courtney_ann agony auntI agree with eyes wide open. No offense but you don't live there, you had no right to look through his bills, I would have been angry too. I don't think it is obvious he is hiding something, just that he likes his privacy.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntI'm one of those people that Tellulah warned you about. I don't think you had a right to go through the bills. He doesn't live with you, his bills are his business. By his reaction he must feel the same way. People need privacy whether they are in a relationship or not. Wanting this privacy does not indicate they are hiding something at all. It is just a matter of personal space.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

Whatever it is you have the right to know the truth. Its obvious he is hiding something, it could be that he has got in debt or something like that.

If you live together and he is away a lot, how come these bills did not go to your house?. Could he be getting them delivered to his parents or something?.

I would come right out and ask him. I know people on this site say you shouldnt go through your partners Email's Text's or bills. But lets face it if you have nothing to hide whats the problem?. Its only Guilty people that hide stuff.

Tell him you are upset and want to know why he reacted that way!!!

Good Luck XX

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