A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last saturday night i went out with my two best friends and when we were out we saw a group of guys that we knew and are quite good friends with. And again like every time when they see me, they called me over, we all had banter and caught up. They are just fun, really nice guys, i'm happy when i'm in their company. But i didn't want to be round them this time because the thing i noticed that night, was my jealousy? They were sitting with a few girls who none of them are dating, they are all single so they were just friends like me and my best friends are with them. But when i moved away for a moment to the bar i could still see them and it was as though i saw things from a different perspective? I was just looking at them and how they were joking around with the girls putting their arms around them and i felt so jealous of the girls. I just wanted to be one of the them sitting there with all their attention on her! I strangely felt out of my comfort zone?I mean they all give me attention, quite a bit actually that when they see me they go out their way, always ask me to join them for the night, make sure i'm okay.. just complete sweethearts! In fact, they were treating those girls exactly like they treat me! So it doesn't make sense any why i was so jealous?I could understand if this was just over one guy, but it was over about 8 of them!? I just looked at those girls with them and felt jealous and insecure (nothing looks related). I was thinking i'm not those girls, i never will be, i want that to be me!?None of it makes sense!!.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 if you have a small niggling jealousy gene trying to get a hold of your psyche now then get a handle on it now, and toss that emotion out the door now.
All through life you will come across situations where someone or some people has more of something or has more attention, more advantages, more of anything than you.
Beating yourself up inside over jealousy is time consuming and a waste of your time.
Jealously burning up inside you will ruin relationships, it will destroy trust. It will make you bitter if you allow this unwanted weed to take a hold of your thoughts.
In this situation those girls getting attention have as much right as you to be appreciated and valued as you.
We all have a wish to be liked and respected and valued by others.
You do, and they do, and anyone else - all have desires, hopes and dreams.
But getting all worked up about being jealous about others will eat away at your soul, and in time the bitter emotion of jealousy will show on your face, and age you. It will also eat away at your generosity of spirit towards others if you allow this useless emotion to take on a life of its own within the spirit of who you are.
Be happy for those girls. You cannot have the undivided attention of that whole group of guys 24/7. And I don't assume that you would want that anyway. And why should they not share their attention in this nice friendly way? They sound a nice group of guys. No wonder they like being with you and the other girls in this friendly situation.
But jealousy? Blow it right out of your realm. Focus on good emotions you already have within you. Emotions that will help you. Like seeing at least one outstanding good quality in every person you meet. By being positive as much as possible. By actively listening to people you meet, and making other people feel valued and respected when they meet you.
Make your life a jealous free zone and you will reap the benefits of being a jealousy free person.
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