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I have never had a female talk to me the way she does without having deep feelings for me. HELP!!!!

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2007)
A United States, *elsi writes:

I am in love with a friend of mine. We are both in our late 40's or so. I would have bet my life on the fact that she was falling in love with me as well. Our flirting was so obvious that some people noticed it and said things. However in January I finally told my friend that I was feeling more for her than just friendship and she acted surprised. She denied she felt the same way. She said that I was the best friend she ever had and that she just didn't know how to act and got carried away. This revelation I made to her was all done by email because we live in different States. Anyway this May she talked me into flying down to see her in Florida. She set it up so that I would be flying into Florida as her husband John was flying out to Nevada for a meeting. We had a wonderful time and things were fairly low keyed, just laughing and having a good time. When I got home I had an email from her waiting for me, I'm not sure how to take it. The following is what the email said::

Dear Kimmers,

It was FANTASTIC to have you come to visit me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also had a great time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed your stay and you got some rest! Like I said I felt like I was on vacation too. It was nice to be with you and for John to be away. Just us girls!!!

But it has been a very sad day for me because I didn't want you to go! My heart felt empty all day. All I could think about was you getting home ok, without any trouble. I hope everything went well for you! I know you were scared.

Well, anyway, I had a GREAT time and I will sure miss you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So take care and i promise to e-mail you more! I miss you already.

Have a great weekend. Love and Miss you MORE!!!!! B----

I called her on Tuesday to say hi and tell her I missed her and she said she really missed me and just didn't want me to leave. I need some advice as to whether or not you think she is denying her feelings for me because she is married and it would screw everything up or what. I have never had a female talk to me the way she does without having deep feelings for me. HELP!!!!

View related questions: best friend, flirt

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (1 June 2007):

eddie agony auntWhat are you thinking????First and most importantly...SHE'S MARRIED !!!!Nothing else matters....Second, emails sound can be very deceicving and misunderstood. Stay out of her marriage. How can you derive pleasure out of an action that is so harmful to another person?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 May 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntYour "friend" is married. End of story. Do not try to take it up to any higher level than friendship. If she does decide to end her marriage then you can maybe hook up but at the moment stop with any confessions of love. You do not want to be involved in any way with this marriage. Stay the course, my friend or I know you'll regret it latter on.

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A male reader, Royofthe Rovers United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2007):

Royofthe Rovers agony auntI think your right in what you think, she may well have feelings for you at the moment. But, I have to ask you this..I you happy with the thought that you would be the one tearing apart a marriage?

Does she speak at all about her marriage? Is he currently unhappy to the point of wanting seperation?

I personally could not follow any of this through without knowing for certain that she is extremely unhappy and has tried to make things work with her husband. Put the husbands shoe on your foot at this moment in time...You at no point mentioned her unhappiness in her marriage with her husband, no bad treatment towards her, no abuse etc....Is he just bored (horrible as it may sound?)

Tread carefully right now and be sure she has not got other motives that she may be hiding for selfish reasons. I dont know her so i cant comment much on her character, however you are encroaching on someone elses life and future so be wary of how you progress this.

If the marriage is that bad and has no future, i mean every avenue that can be taken has been taken then maybe, yes.

R

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