A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts Recently I have been seeing a guy that I really like and starting to have feelings for, we have been on several dates and been seeing each other for the last couple of months I like this guy so much but he is English living in here and I'm an Arab I feel the cultural gap between us is huge that it just won't make it work out, there are things I will not be able to do with him or be a part of. Like my curfew time and how I just don't measure up to his way of living, we have two opposite ways of living.I feel I'm not gonna be enough and that he will not tolerate it, shall I just end it ? But I want him, he has been nothing but kind and sweet but I'm struggling with my demons right now I don't want to feel rejected because of things I couldn't choose, I wish it was different but currently I cannot change the situation I'm in and at the same time I really don't want to lose him not do I want to feel small in his eyes Reply to this Question
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male
reader, WickedPoet  +, writes (13 February 2017):
 I agree with the advice offered by Youcannotbeserious. You are engaging in fear based thinking which often will bring about the thing you fear. If you cannot imagine something becoming real it most likely will not succeed. I do understand your thinking and cultural differences can lead to many misunderstandings. The same is true of religion which you did not raise but could be even more decisive than culture in determining how things go here. I don't know if that is an issue here as well. You really don't have a choice over attraction. I know this is a frairly new relationship and your feelings are new. You should talk to him and let him know your feelings. Tell him about your concerns before your heart is more invested in the relationship. He has been nothing but kind and sweet to you which tells me he respects you and cares about you. .
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (13 February 2017):
 Have you actually sat down with him and discussed your fears? Are his long term plans to stay living in your country or will be be returning home at some point? Or possibly moving elsewhere in the world?
Does he actually see the issues you worry about?
Don't thrown away what could be a good relationship over fears of things which may not be a problem to him. Discuss them first. If it turns out that they ARE a problem, can you work on compromising in a way which will not make you uncomfortable but which will also keep him happy?
Good luck. I hope you can find a way of working things out.
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