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I am torn. My Bf is in jail and may move away to be closer to his child when he gets out. What should I do? I want to be respectful.

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Long distance, Online dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm 19 and My bf is 23 we have been together for 1 year and some months.

He has a daughter but he is not with her mother.

I have never had this happen to me before so i don't know what to do or think.

Of course I am going to wait for him. I am young but i know what I want, Him.

The thing is he has a good heart and he loves his daughter. Her mother is talking about moving her to another state. I have a sick feeling that if she tells him the only way she would stay is if he gets back together with her i don't know if he would deny her.

I'm so torn. we love each other no doubt about that. Its the feelings that i have inside about that situation that is scary. I haven't felt like i do for anyone else. I don't want to ask him about situations like that because he is already in jail with that on his head on top of him trying to get out.

I don't know what to do I really need good advice. My friends don't understand at all. one of my friends cheated on her boyfriend while he was in jail and the day that he got out of jail she told him that she was with somebody else. I don't want advice from her, that's disrespect.

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A female reader, nat1972 New Zealand +, writes (16 September 2012):

nat1972 agony auntHi,

Ok, Firstly, how long is he in jail for. Secondly, he has a lot of thinking to do which he will do in jail. He may come out as a changed man, that would be good, good for you and your relationship. Take it easy, Talk to each other, write to him etc etc. Tell him how you feel, or go visit him and have a discussion about things. When he comes out of jail he can look at it as a new start. If the Ex does move with his daughter to another state he has options. Are they on speaking terms, If so she and him need to sort out a way that he has access to the child. Try and stay out of it. As much as you can. As its between her and him. Don't get jelous either, as he has made a choice to be with you. They have some working out to do. If she does move to another state perhaps you and him could move in together to be in the same state as the daughter. A lot of change will be taking place. Also try not to worry about it too much as none of this has happened yet. So you are creating all sorts of things in your mind. Keep it honest, keep it working, and keep him in your heart. You love him, and although he is not there for a little while make little changes to keep the relationship working, letter writing, create poetry, write a love story about you both and get him to read it. I know it sounds daft but keep the love alive.

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