A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony auntI love my own cousin who lives abroad whereas i live in the uk i have been to his country twice for a holiday and a personal reason i have got to know him through his family but the thing is he or i have never had the guts to talk to each other he always gives me eye contact and smiles and he is just generally really nice to me, another problem is that he is 6 years older than me which i don't find a problem he is getting engaged soon to his sister's friend i have told my mum how i feel about him and she replied that this can never happen because of several reasons, his mum has even asked many times whether i am single or not but my mum has replied that me and here son can never go out i really love him but in don't know if he feels the same or not or whether he just looks at me in a sisterly way. What should I do i'm crazy about him!!
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female
reader, *Frogfry*  +, writes (6 September 2008):
Hay, sorry my spelling is shocking!
Recently my cousins had a relationship and it lasted about 11months.. There relationship caused alot of trouble with our family and they realy did not aprove!! Now that there relationship has ended everytime they see eachother its very awkward and they dont want to be around eachother which is terrible for the family.. I know it might seem like your inlove with this guy and believe me I had a super huge crush on my cousin too. But there is just a time where you have to think to yourself and remember that he is your cousin, a blood relative and both of your grandparents are the same people! Its just something you would have to deal with. And besides if he is getting ready to get married I dont think you have much of a shot with him anyway... Goodluck tho.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007): I dont see the problem with having a crush on your own cousin its totally normal no1 can controle ur feelings neither can you its life..and people who thinks its disgusting think of it
for a while and ull understand..i kno how it feels...and i think likin ur cuzzin more than a cuzzin is normal no harmm yeh ppl will take a while to understand buht afterwards they will see u were ment for eachother im just saying... we cant controle how we feel.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Here are all the reasons why a relationship with your cousin would be bad:
1. He is your cousin - it maybe legal in the UK but not where he lives.
2. He is your cousin - you date, it doesn't work out but you still have to see each other at family functions and it also causes embarrassment to your immediate family perhaps?
3. He is engaged - he is committed to someone else. Imagine if he fancies you too and wanted to act on that. It would make him terrible boyfriend material because he shouldnt have wandering eyes when he is getting married. He could cheat on you in the future.
4. He lives far away - long term relationships are very difficult to maintain and you may find it very lonely to move to his country with no friends or parents to back you up.
Plenty more fish in the sea...focus on what you like/ love about him and find someone less complicated with those attributes!
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Cousin or not, this guy is getting engaged so he is off limits. I suggest finding someone that is free and who you actually *want* to talk with and who would *want* to talk with you, too. Plus it seems like from what your mother said it would cause problems within the family - and I'm sure you really don't feel like going through that and being a part of creating a huge family drama, do you?
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Well personally i have been in this position myself and i am now married to my cousin who i once didn't even speak to and his engagement going to be with someone he loves or arranged think about that
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 If you've never had the guts to speak to him directly, how do you know that you're so in love with him? Do you meet him a lot? I can't really tell from your question, but it sounds like you have only met him twice...? Are you sure that you're really in love with him, or are you just in love with the fact that he's so unattainable?
Ah, emotions are complicated things, and the ones that are supposed to feel the best quite often end up putting you through hell. He's taken. He's a relative. He lives in another country. Everything is against this. You're going to have to put him out of your head and move on. Don't even confess your love to him. If he's getting engaged soon, I doubt that he's ever thought of you as anything other than a cousin, and making a full-blown I-love-you-desperately confession would put a rift between the two of you and cause awkwardness in your family. Can you imagine family occasions, five years from now, never daring to look at him because you were the girl who made a pass at him?
I'm sorry to be so harsh. Good luck. I hope you meet someone else soon, who will put all unhealthy thoughts about your cousin out of your head.
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