A
female
age
26-29,
*azima
writes: I started this new job as an Activities Instructor in the disability sector a month and a half ago and I really love it! Recently, I went on an overnight trip with some clients and another activities instructor that I have been having some trouble with.Long story short, she didn't really listen to me after I had made a couple of suggestions for dinner arrangements, sightseeing that was doable for the clients and making toilet stops, but she had other intentions so I let her be and let her lead. This resulted in me trying to calm down several clients as they were extremely unhappy, and left me to clean up the mess she made!I had said to her we should go somewhere nearby, local cuisine as everyone could enjoy something their familiar with and had less walking (1 client had a painful leg and needed to rest every 5 minutes). But she insisted we take a 15-20 minute walk to China Town with several restaurants which resulted in another 20 minutes of walking. Clients were NOT happy at all and I had to quickly improvise, find a restaurant nearby that had a familiar menu.After that we took another 20 minute walk and went sight seeing, the other instructor pretty much just left me behind to manage 1 angry client (who wasn't happy with the walking) and another client with a painful leg. I was getting stressed out, and she wanted me to take a taxi back to the hotel with the other 2 clients while she went with the other one on a ferry boat. The other 2 wanted to go on it and I didn't think it was fair that they went off by themselves, on top of that the workplace wouldn't allow the budget for 2 taxi rides back to the hotel and tried to explain that to her but again, she wouldn't listen. She pretty much wanted to get rid of the "bad clients" while she left with the good one and had fun by herself. I was extremely furious with her!She had attempted before, where she wanted to go for a "toilet break" and I insisted to save time take everyone to the toilet, but didn't listen and left quickly, to then have her text me 10 minutes later saying "Sorry I should of asked everyone if they needed to go to" after I had suggested it to her!She even had the audacity to tell me "Our personalities do not match" and I wanted to say it wasn't about our personalities, it was more about working together but she simply wanted to fucked off and do her own thing, leave me with the bad parts, or try to lead then leave me with her cleaning up!She does this occasionally in other shifts too, she will do whatever makes her happy while looking like she is doing her job. I get stuck with the difficult clients, it isn't fair.How do I manage someone like this?
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female
reader, Pazima +, writes (8 July 2022):
Pazima is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input and I really appreciate it! I'm not use to taking the lead in many things and find it uncomfortable. I was given this role by my company to improve on that and have it as a stepping stone for another job within the company that I really want.
We are both new to the job and didn't really know what we were doing. The manager was very short-staffed and got 2 new people on the job, which most of my co-workers also agreed it was a big mistake on their behalf.
I know I did mess up, and she also did too. I am still learning how to be a leader and to take the charge. If you have any advice around this it would be greatly appreciated!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2022): Yes it is about your personalities, you are being incredibly naive and you are out of your depth and not up to this responsibility. You say she is difficult yet you then allow her to take over and dictate. You say she has ridiculous ideas and ignores what people want yet once again you let her take over and dictate. These problems happen because you allow her to take over and do not stamp authority on the situation.
You cannot allow people to walk all over you, take over, and then complain when they do. You reap what you sow.
Yes it means having to be unpopular and fall out at times,
but you were there to give these disabled people a good time not to be popular and become friends with her.
Your main concern should have been to make sure these people really enjoy their time there, not that you avoid saying things to her that she does not like. The fact that you cannot see this and need to ask strangers proves you are out of your depth.
You allowed her to turn you into her junior!!!
I own various businesses and have employed a lot of people over the years. I would never employ two people to do the same job like that, one should be officially in charge where the other one has to do as they decide. And I would never employ someone who is so wishy washy about making decisions
and cannot be firm about them.
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