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How can I let my Kenyan friend down without hurting him?

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 September 2023) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2023)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I used to communicate alot with someone from Kenya years ago. I considered him to be a good online friend. However, I got into a relationship with someone and we didn't talk as much.

Recently he messaged me and I'm now single and he's telling me he was always in love with me. He wants to meet. I told him I'm not into long distance relationships I've tried it before and it's not for me. I also told him I'm not wanting a relationship with anyone right now. Infact, I enjoy being alone. Also, I'm older and he always says age is just a number. I prefer someone close to my age, if I date again.

He is still being persistent. Still asking to meet and be together. How can I let him down easy?

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (13 September 2023):

Myau agony auntThe best way is quickly and directly.

There is no nice way

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (11 September 2023):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntBeware people who have never met you telling you they are "in love" with you. Lucky you are level headed and independent. If you were insecure and feeling vulnerable after your break-up, you might fall for his patter.

You two have different agendas for your relationship. I dread to think what HIS agenda is but I reckon I can hazard a good guess. In your shoes I would thank him for his past friendship, wish him well and block him. Don't worry about letting him down easy. He's being quite rude, pushing for a relationship when you have plainly told him you are not interested.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 September 2023):

Honeypie agony auntNo, is a complete sentence.

Know that.

If he keeps bringing up being in a relationship you might have to be more "firm" - as in - I ONLY see you as a friend and I value this friendship but if you can not JUST be my friend I think we might need to cut ties.

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