A
female
age
36-40,
*ammyFaye1985
writes:Hi, I posted previously about a fall out I had with my sister due to her not being able to take responsibility for a flat she shares with me and also that I didn't want her drug addict boyfriend round. Anyway she has taken it to extremes and I received a tirade of abuse from her and her boyfriend via messages. As she is my mam's favourite, the whole family have fallen out with me now. No-one has spoken to me. And, what has made matters worse is her boyfriend spoke to my violent ex' boyfriend and told him where i live and also that I am seeing a new man. My ex' turned up at my work place looking for me and the new guy and then turned up at my house. Due to his previous conviction I had to call the police and made a statement, I think they then contacted him and advised him never to turn up like that again.I just can't believe it has been taken to such extremities over such a small argument. Now I feel like the orphan and don't know what to do,
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 October 2017):
 I remember your original post. It would be a much better idea moving out and having your own place, your sister is immature and you don't need that drama in your life. You handled it well phoning the police. I would find your own place and make a better life for yourself. If your family are being hard then maybe find a professional to talk to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2017): Excuse me? You were pretty much the orphan according to your last post. You don't gain love by letting people abuse and mistreat you. You need to get away from that environment. Get some professional-counseling; so you can gain enough confidence to socialize, and build a life for yourself.
"Grab one crab out of a bushel-basket; and the others will cling on to hold him back!" That's an old aphorism.
You're over 30, and most people are living independently; or starting their own families. I think it's time you got out of that hornet's nest of a family, and start a new life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2017): It was going to come to this no matter what. You were taking the cowardly route; while they took-over your place. Well now the police are involved; and I highly doubt a druggie is going to want to tangle with the law.
If you were running from an abusive-ex; you should have filed a restraining order long before now.
Your family was dysfunctional to start with; if I recall your previous post. This incident is only one of many other fall-outs you've had with them. For once you actually stood-up to them. When the dust settles, you will be in charge of your life. They manipulated you through intimidation.
Sweetie, you have to take a strong-stance and gain respect of people who walk all over you. How much peace did you have in kissing their asses? Why did you write DC for advice?
You were on the verge of homelessness; and you claimed your mom likes your sister more anyway. So what's the difference? It's more of the same. Let your sister and the druggie live with your mother. Instead of letting her pawn the losers off on you!
You only took her in thinking you'd gain favor with your mom. Who do you think you were fooling?
When did they ever treat you nicely anyway? Was letting them takeover your place better than things are now?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 October 2017):
 I think you handled it just fine, OP
It wasn't a good situation and your sister didn't CARE how it affected you. Neither does her BF.
As for your family? Well, they are still your family but right now they are siding with her and THAT you can't change. So for now just let it go. Some parents play favorites with their kids. And some people play victims (like your sister). Let them stew in their own drama for now. YOU did the right thing.
If your sister had a key to your place get the locks changed asap.
And pay attention. Just because the police TOLD your ex NOT to show up doesn't mean he will comply. So PAY attention and keep safe.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (15 October 2017):
 Stick to your guns. Give her the notice document and possibly get some therapy to help you deal with your family's crap.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 October 2017):
 I would say you are managing a difficult situation very well. I can't believe your family know the whole story yet still take your sister's side. Families shouldn't take sides.
I think the advice you got on your original question still stands. Get your own place if you can. Don't rely on your sister and her dubious connections to pay the rent.
When you get your own place be mindful of who knows the address - including family members who can't keep their mouths closed.
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