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Do I leave my boyfriend for this other guy even though I might not end up with him?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

this is a very long and complicated story lol. so i was very good friends with a guy named "j" and i always had feelings for him ever since we met but i never said anything until 10 months after meeting. he admitted he like me as well but there was a problem. his best friend "b" likes me too. he liked me before j liked me so j didnt want to date me bc he was scared he was going to hurt his best friend b. well me and j started secretly hooking up. no we didnt have sex. but after we hooked up one time he wasnt relly talking to me. so i went out with my friend and her bf. thats where i met "c".

c is my current boyfriend. i do have feelings for him but they are no where as strong as they are for j. but i decided to date c bc j wasnt talking to me. as soon as me and c are official, j started talking to me again. my feelings for j came back and i dont know what to do about c. so i decided to be honest and i told c that i had feelings for someone else and he seemed ok with it. then my friend and her bf who introduced me to c flipped out on me and they made a plan to get us back together. throughout this whole time i was very confused and didnt know what to do so i just did whatever anyone told me to do. so now my problem is i like someone else more than my boyfriend. i dont wanna dump my boyfriend bc my 2 friends will be very mad at me. and i never told "j" that i had a boyfriend yet bc i dont want him to move on to someone else. im just a big mess right now and idk what to do.

btw c is in a gang and used to be a drug dealer but now hes stright and good and j is in college and has a wealthy family.

my question is do i tell j i have a boyfriend? do i leave my bf for j even tho i might not even end up with j?

View related questions: best friend, move on

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A female reader, mimisoph3 United States +, writes (4 June 2010):

mimisoph3 agony aunti dont u care about "C" since u are on here desperatly asking if u should stay wit him or not my advice break up with C! because u dont seem that into him the only reason u are with him is because of ur friends! thats not good u need to respect urself and step up in a nice way and be like my feelings have changed we should just be friends dont go out with someone u dont even think about because u are just tagging "C"along til one moment u will break him terribly so i think u should end it with "C" but "J" doesnt seem right either why would he stop talking to u after hooking up to u maybe he felt back because he was developing feelings which his friend has for u as well

u need to let go of "C" and just be single for now and see wat happens wit "J" or maybe just focus on urself u seem like u listen to other people more then ur own self thats not good cuz ur not gonna grow up having faith on urself ur just gonna let people walk all over u.. good luck:)

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