A
female
age
30-35,
*ellyDancerAme
writes:Hi aunts and uncles Got a problem, I've been with my bf now for 5 years his family have never really accepted me in all this time and thing got worse when I went into an apprenticeship rather than go to university. My bf moved in with me and my family last July as he couldnt cope at home after a year living at uni. His mother made it very obvious that his older brother was favoured and would treat them differently. His brother also knew this so would get my bf into trouble often.Recently we can across the term narsasist( someone suggested she may have this) turns out everything narsasists do, she does. [Mod note: narcissist is the accepted spelling. :)]Now when my bf moved out he explained several times his reasons for leaving, at 19 years old she was still opening all his mail, looking through his phone and emails, she also told his dad that he and his brother had been stealing money off him when it was actually her, the dad later found out. Now the problem is my bf still visits them as he should but when I go with him I am ignored or treated rudely, my bf doesn't say much at the time but usually mentions it when he is on his own. Now I haven't seen his family since April as they were extreamly rude to me on my birthday, I started suffering from panic attacks and started fainting, so I decided enough was enough things needed sorting. So two days ago she came to pick me up from work with my bf (longer story lol) so I said hi, she ignored me, everytime my boyfriend asked about my day she would butt in and talk about everything she had done. So by the time I got home and listen to her whining at my bf for not textin her everyday(not even joking) I had had enough. Then she starts to to cry. So I ended up arguing with her. Now my by has gone round to visit them all on his own, taken games and controllers(mine) and has spent the evening with them. Am I wrong to feel a little bit hurt by this? I spent 5 years letting his mother say what she wanted to me and after I finally stand up for myself he goes round like nothing happened?! I don't feel I can cope with her in the background, when she moans he gives in because its easier! When I moan about something he argues back! (Don't get me wrong i don't want him to not argue with me I agree with it at times but letting his mom win most of the time bugs me) Had anyone got experience with a narsasist? How do you scope with them? And should I expect more commitment of my bf as we are planning on getting married in the future and at the moment I wouldn't want her in my house let alone with any children I might have! If anyone has any comments please help really don't know where to go from here. I love my bf but this stuff is making me ill.Sorry it was so long Thanks for taking the time to read
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2013):
 You need to learn to ignore them. There is no way else to deal with a person like that, specially when you have a BF who can't or won't stand up to his mom.
As for taking the games/controller to their house, I would tell him in the future that it is a no-go, if it bothers you.
Just remember if you marry this guy, NOTHING will change. She will she be HER and your BF (then husband) will still let her "have her way" because it's easier.
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