A
female
age
41-50,
*nsuregirl
writes:I am in a relationship with a man, and I am confused. I want to break it off with him because he is not a good father to his kids. He has not seen them in two years and is not paying his child support. As a matter of fact, he stopped working because he does not want to pay child support. We have been together for nine years, but in the last two years things have changed dramatically. I do not like his ex because she has been really mean to me, but she is a good mother because their kids are great kids. The kids love me and I do love them (I do miss them) I do not think his kids should have to suffer. I want him to have a healthy relationship with his kids and pay his child support. We have fought many times over this issue, but he seems more concerned with working on his car than spending time with his kids. Now, I want to leave him, but I have a 9 year old son who met my bf when he was only 6 months old. My son really loves him and I know he loves my son. I can walk away from this relationship without looking back, but I am so afraid of breaking my son's heart. Please help! What are your thoughts? How should I tell my nine year old son, that his stepfather is no longer going to be is his life (if that happens).
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female
reader, Unsuregirl +, writes (23 May 2015):
Unsuregirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Code Warrior and Janniepeg for your feed back...just to clarify there are no boyfriends, this bf is the first and only guy my child have ever met so no I do not have boys coming and going. Since my ex-husband walked out on us the only guy we had in both our lives is the current one. I did not talk to my son as yet, but I asked the said bf to move out so that he can fix things with his own children. I did this last night so it is all fresh right now. He does not believe I mean business, but he keeps forgetting what is most important to me and that is the happiness of the children. We all mad choices to have children and sometimes we forget that they should be number one in our lives. I told him if he can fix that then there is a chance for us. I do not know if that will happen though, because he said to me he will move to another state and change his identity because it is too much for him. As far as my child is concern, I will discuss this with him when the time is right (when he starts asking for his stepfather). Thank you so much for your feedback.Unsuregirl
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (23 May 2015):
 Children are more resilient than you think. If you are happy then he is happy. The best lesson you can teach your son is that relationship loves on, and life moves on. People come and go, and that doesn't have to be a tragedy. Remind him that you love him and that's all it matters. Just because the relationship didn't work out that doesn't mean he is less lovable.
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