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Accused of bragging about my 2nd property at work

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Question - (18 September 2023) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2023)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband and i recently bought a 2nd property - it’s an apartment on the beach here in the UK.

We’ve saved up and made sacrifices for years to be able to do this and are proud that we have been able to do so.

At work last week a few of my colleagues (who had seen my pictures on Facebook) wanted to know more about the apartment and see more pictures.

Later that day my manager called me in to his office and told me that some colleagues had complained about me talking about my apartment (I’m assuming they weren’t the ones who asked me about it but a couple of others who held back). Apparently they felt I was rubbing their noses in it especially as we are in “financially difficult times”.

Obviously this wasn’t my intention-I had posted some pictures of it on Facebook and when I got in to work my colleagues asked ME about it asking to see more pictures- I didn’t start the conversation.

I explained this to my manager and he just told me not to talk about it at work. I asked him what I was supposed to do if someone asked me about it again and he said to tell them that I’m not to talk about it in the office.

I never intended to upset anyone but I really don’t see how this is my fault and as for not talking about it seems a bit petty….

2 weeks prior someone bought a brand new car and was boasting about it in the office- no one said anything.

A few months ago another colleague was showing off her designer bag that she got for her birthday and no one complained….

Both these colleagues still talk about their luxuries!

Just FYI it wasn’t these 2 colleagues who complained as they weren’t in the office that day.

So I feel it’s a little unfair I’m being told off for supposedly “bragging”!

Anyone ever have this happen to them? In over 20 years being in a workplace environment I’ve never heard of such nonsense!

View related questions: at work, facebook, workplace

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2023):

No win no fee do not do harassment cases and this is not harassment anyway. You have every right to be proud of your achievements but if you tell losers about them they get jealous - you should expect that.

Do what you want outside work, face book etc. They cannot say anything about it, it is not their business. In work yes it is. The manager will decide what is and is not allowed according to what gives him the least time wasting and hassle. If he has three people complaining about you he will side with them because it is quicker and easier than agreeing with you. That is how life works.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2023):

As well as going to HR I'd also suggest ring a 'no-win, no-fee' solicitor and ask if you have a case for harassment or bullying by your manager.

HR can be helpful but they ultimately work for the company and can be extremely friendly all the way through a process (so that they can show that they have supported you fairly) but then that can be misleading in terms of outcome and you can feel abandoned at the end if things don't go in your favour - and, of course, if your Manager is behaving in this way about this issue then there's plenty more of that behaviour in store for other issues.

A no win no fee solicitor will tell you where you stand by law - and, ultimately, and whilst a company may have their own rules and regulations and 'in-house' code of conduct (which you may well want to ask to see eg. staff hand book or any other material like that) - they have to abide by the law. It's the law that counts. You would have to show some kind of discrimination taking place though, and that can be very hard to prove.

OR, a different approach read up on the Staff Charter, Staff Handbook or whatever other materials HR might have but keep that to yourself and make detailed notes of any behaviour from this manager that seems biased against you. Establishing a pattern of this kind of behaviour is the best way to win a legal case, but keep quiet about it meanwhile.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2023):

Wow! That is nonsense!! You work with some very petty people! If I were you I’d keep posting loads of pictures on Facebook & do as you please on YOUR social media!

It’s a big accomplishment- people struggle to buy 1 property let alone 2 & you can’t be held responsible for other’s financial issues!

Obviously if the boss (who by the way is an idiot ) has told you not to talk about it in work then don’t but nothing can stop you talking about it outside of work.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2023):

Sounds to me like an issue for HR. Your manager needs to go on a training course to learn how to be a good manager because he's shot himself right in the foot with this one. I'd say you have him for bullying right here. What an idiot.

As for the 'colleagues' who complained, i'd demand names because I doubt it was your colleagues. Probably your idiot manager trouble causing. They have these idiots in more places than you think.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (19 September 2023):

kenny agony auntI think sometimes social media is more trouble than what its worth to be honest. If i was you i would not have anyone from work on your social media, just your close friends and family.

You are always going to get jealous people, who want to ridicule and bring people down that have done well for their selves.

You was not bragging, they just saw it on facebook and decided to comment.

You should not feel bad about this, you have done nothing wrong, but just use this as an experience, a learning curve and just be a bit mindful and block what work colleagues can see.

Yes its a load of nonsence, course it is, but that's office work places for you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 September 2023):

Honeypie agony auntTALK to HR.

Whoever complained is an idiot and your manager is also an idiot!

Good for you for getting yourself a second property! You and your husband set a goal and you got it!

If someone is "buthurt" over this, they really need to get a life!

I'd still go talk to HR because this is ridiculous.

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