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Younger colleague who has a girlfriend asked me to a football game and wants me to meet his family! What is he doing?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am friends with a much younger man at work we have never dated i heard he has a girlfriend. he asked me to a football game 5 months from now and wants me to meet his family what does it mean? what is he doing?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 May 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHave you ASKED HIM why he wants you to meet the family? Are you sure he has a girlfriend? You say you HEARD… but does he talk about her? Maybe she’s not really a girlfriend.

I hate the term cougar and I hate that so many younger men assume that older women just want to get laid….

If you want to know what he means, how about asking him…..

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (30 May 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntSome young guys are most anxious to show off an "older woman" (read: a cougar) who they've snared.... This one may be such a guy.

IF that's so... then he wants to be SURE to "have his oar in the water" early, as regards asking you to be available for his show-you-off moment at the "Big Game".....

YOU may or may not be interested in spending a "date" with this young man.... but that is your choice. I imagine you MIGHT see him in the interim, no????

I suggest you tell him to "pencil me (you) in" on his game-day schedule, and you and he can determine, between now and then, if there's any sort of romantic notion (or any OTHER type of attraction) between you.....

Good luck....

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A female reader, G's_Girl Portugal +, writes (30 May 2012):

G's_Girl agony auntHi Anonymous,

It all depends on the friendship that has developed between you two. How long have you been friends; what do you talk about; how meaningful is it; and what are his intentions?

Age is not a factor for many people, and "hearing" he has a girlfriend is not really confirmation. If you two are friends, surely this is something he should/would have mentioned by now?

Going to a football game in a few months may not be a big deal, perhaps if he really does have a girlfriend she isn't into football and he has nobody else to go? However, wanting you, his colleague who is also a friend, to meet his family, may be a bit more telling.

I would say the best bet is to have an open honest conversation with him. Express your thoughts on the friendship, and determine how you feel. Are you interested? If not, let him know. If yes, find out his status (single/gf/married) so you can make a decision. Then ask him what his intentions are, so that your friendship does not suffer, especially as you work together and that could turn awkward, and so nobody ends up hurt through misunderstandings.

Best Wishes.

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