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Wow! He wants to have sex with me but I feel I'm too young... Help!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2010) 12 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i was going out with this boy it lasted 2 weeks and then he dumped me. i re asked him out a few months later and he said yes and it was all ok but now he has asked me if i would have sex with him. (but not forcefully) i just laughed and changed the subject. ( me 14, and him 13) hes ready for sex even though he young and i would have it with him but i dont know whether he will leave me agen (also weve been together for another 2 weeks lol fast movers) and it would be both of our first time and i dont know what to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

You don't want to become a trophy.

That's what he's after... He wants sex so he can go tell his friends that he had sex with you. So that should be a good reason for you not to do it!

Secondly, NEVER have sex unless you feel ready for it. Its not about age... sure I think you are too young... but thats my opinion. What's more important is that you think you are too young. And thats what counts most. You have all the time to discover that stuff. Do it at your own speed and your own way.

And that guy, tell him you don't want to date him cause he only wants to have sex. Personally I would even tell him while other guys 'his friends' are close-by and hearing the conversation. Tell him he should should find someone else to loose his 'virginity' with. That way he can't lie about it afterwards. Cause many guys of that age start telling friends they had sex with you even if they didn't.

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A female reader, cindy 15 United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

cindy 15 agony auntyou r WAAAAY TOO young save it for someone special not for this horny guy.

if i were you you should dump this guy befor he dumps you again!

think of the conciquences ...

wait for that special someone that you deserve...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

Damn your only 14! leave it a couple of years. At least when your older you wont be ashamed to tell people what age you lost it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

just tell him your not ready and dont want to if he cant accept it its time to move on there are plenty of other people out there...u need to save sex for when you are married or your sure that the person you are with is right for you...dont waste it...save it. theres no rush to it your to young.

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

PeanutButter agony auntYou are very young and, while you aren't a "child" anymore, you aren't an adult either. If you have to question sex with someone then you're not ready - this goes for anybody at any age, and this is perfectly OK!

I first had sex at 15 and I ended up with my son at aged 16. It was by no means a barrel of laughs.

Sex is NOT that great when it is your first time and all the thinking you put into it just makes it worse. You really should wait until you're in a longer, loving, committed relationship before making that big move on to sex.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting and I am sure that if he has any respect for you, he will. If he just wants sex with you then this isn't the kind of person you want to be doing it with anyway.

Plus, as the laws state, you are underage.

British law states that you have to be 16 in order to have intercourse legally. If you were to have sex now and anything were to happen as far as pregnancies or anything else, you could both get into some deep water.

Just wait, it won't be long before you are old enough to enjoy sex for what it is. You don't have to grow up so fast - enjoy the last few years you have left being able to be so care free as a teen. You will miss them when they're gone.

I am now 30 years old and my son is going to be 14 this year and I have not had it easy by any means. The pregnancy was a mistake that could have destroyed my life had I not had some amazing support. Don't risk it if you do not have to, which you don't and you shouldn't.

Treat yourself with some love and respect and others will follow.

Best of luck to you xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

Please if don't do it :) . That guy is 13. U re 14. Wait couple years and then do it with someone who knows what to do.

Every guy is ready since is able to have sex but that doesn't mean they know how to do it. And if he dumps or get mad you because you won't do it then that should be a good sign how he cares about you.

Virginity can be lost only once and it's better if you're bit older and it's with someone you love or atleast care about a lot.

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A female reader, Duckyhelp United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2010):

Duckyhelp agony auntDont Dont Dont!! Pleeasee!

I had my first time with a guy who didnt really love me, and stayed with me basicaly for that reason and left me devasted!

please dont do it. wait, and find someone a million times better than this loser who obviously is too horny for his own good.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2010):

stop. think about what youre suggesting. this guy dumps you after 2 weeks. now he wants to have sex with you after just 2 weeks of being together? im sorry but at the age of 13.. you dont know what a relationship is. they are much bigger than just being boyfriend and girlfriend, and having sex. sleep with him, and i can basically guarantee you that he'll ditch you once again. he'll probably persuade you to not use a condom. you may get pregnant. you may be labelled a "slag" or "easy", and youll end up hurt because you got USED. take this advice while you can! no good looking back when all the above has happened, and saying, "i wish i'd listened". trust me and everyone else on this site. the right thing to do is WAIT. not to mention the fact that at 14, youre body isnt sexually developed. having sex this early in life, believe it or not, can actually cause problems as you get older. you are not ready mentally, emotionally or physically.

one day you may meet someone who you actually WANT to do this with. but judging by youre attitude towards it now, the way youre having doubts, suggests that you dont really want to do this. do NOT fall into the trap that so many girls i know did. they all regret it. good luck.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (25 May 2010):

YouWish agony auntYou are TOO YOUNG! You will seriously regret it, it won't be as fun as you think, and you could get pregnant or have a disease!

You're too young to deal with the RISKS of sex, and you don't have near the level of commitment from this guy to warrant a physical relationship.

Tell him to go take his hormones somewhere else. You're much too smart to fall for it.

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A female reader, ChristineAvril United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2010):

ChristineAvril agony auntWhat you do is WAIT!

Neither of you is ready for sex yet, and my money is on his leaving you soon after you have done the deed, maybe even leaving you pregnant?

You must have read millions of replies to similar questions on here, and the usual very good advice is to wait until you are at least legal, and also in a committed relationship when it will mean something.

You will never enjoy it in these circumstances and regret it forever......

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A female reader, scarletbegonias United States +, writes (24 May 2010):

scarletbegonias agony auntGirl. Don't do it!!!! If you're not ready than he should be able to respect that. Trust me from experience. Teenage boys are going to use you to get experience in the sack and move on.

Ultimately, don't do anything your not comfortable with. Save it for someone really special. You can never, ever get your virginity back.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2010):

Not only are you too young, but he clearly has no idea about what he's on about at all. He dumped you after 2 weeks, so he'll only use you and it will end with you being hurt. You don't seem ready, and he certainly isn't ready at all. There is no rush, and you mustn't allow yourself to be used.

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