A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum if someone refused, and if someone struggled for whatever reason I wouldn't try to force them to remove their shoes either. It is just that I would prefer it if guests would, and I appreciate it when people do. Thank you. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2013): It's your home and people should respect that. I ask everyone to remove their shoes and most people are ok about it. The odd one doesn't, but you can't please all the people all the time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2013): Hello, I am the person who asked this question. Thank you all for your responses. The response has been quite varied, which has made it interesting to see different perspectives. I also appreciate the suggestions that have been made, such as providing slippers. YouWish, I think I would have taken to wearing steel toe-capped boots after encountering a scorpion! :-O
Again, thank you all for your interesting responses. :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (20 December 2013):
 Is it rude to ask visitors to remove their shoes? Seriously? I think it's very ill mannered of people not to remove their shoes.
I don't like visitors with bare feet either, but there are some circumstances under which I can tolerate it gracefully.
That some guests would refuse is outrageous. OP, I think you're well within your rights to insist shoes be removed. I would and have.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (19 December 2013):
 hmm, over here in the UK it's kind of mixed. I've noticed older generations don't remove shoes, whereas younger people (mainly girls) do. it's not something i've ever really thought of, but i always take mine off round others homes unless it is just to pop in quickly to pick something up. :) i've never seen anyone over here with slippers for guests, though i like that idea a lot :D
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Reading all the other answers, of course it depends on culture. In Norway you always remove your shoes. At big parties too, with no matter how many guests, there will be a huge pile of shoes in the hallway and you just have to dive in and look for your shoes when you leave. Then we bring separate shoes to be worn indoors IF we have a particular desire for shoes indoors.
I just traveled to my moms for Christmas and I packed several beautiful dresses and clothes, but only one pair of shoes. To be used outdoors. Indoors.. nope, we just don't wear shoes indoors.
The bare feet comments though, they really made me realize climate is a factor here. We've got snow, mud, rain etc about 9 months of the year. And in summer, where I am from, it is hardly ever warm enough to be bare feet, like on Hawaii. We always have socks on. And in wintertime most have knitted woolen socks on.
I am going to wear my gorgeous Christmas dress with nylon stockings and a pair of home knitted woolen socks. That's how we rock it here ;)
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 December 2013):
I think it is extremely rude if people walk into the house with shoes on. I was brought up to never do that. No one I know would enter a house with shoes on. We always remove them, and if we wear shoes indoors it is shoes to only be worn indoors that have not been used outside.
I don't think it is rude to ask people to remove their shoes, but I think it should be unnecessary to ask.
It's your house, you define the rules. Each to their own, but I don't allow shoes on inside my home either.
...............................
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 When I see polished timber floors or white carpet, I remove my shoes; although this may not be a clear case to everyone… If you’re inclined to be fastidious or just houseproud and you do have polished timber floors or white carpet, a sign would be appropriate and ‘generally’ viewed as acceptable. Yet this only resolves part of ones inconvenience… So I would supply house slippers in varies sizes in replace of footwear for my ‘visitors’ comfort.
Alternatively and or place a mat that is abrasive enough to help remove general dirt from their shoes at the front door and simply add a few rugs for when you do entertain guests at home.
As a change from “Please remove your shoes” you could have a sign saying; “For your comfort” placed near the slippers. It’s just a suggestion if you like to have signage?
CAA
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Having grown up in Hawaii, I always thought it strange to ask folks to take off their shoes but it is the custom so most folks just do it anyway. I really never saw the need for it. If the bottom of your shoes have dirt on them so will the bottom of your feet assuming you go barefoot outside anyway(which we all did. so it made no real diffeence. It was some kind of custom brought over from Japan I think that spread thoughout the islands. But no, I guess it not rude. It's just strange to me that people want to see someone eles's bare feet. on their cold floors.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): I think it is according to your culture and the weather.
A small number of visitors wouldn't mind. A number of guests invited to a party would think you were a nutcase.
If you ask your guests to remove their shoes, give them an option. Offer something comfortable to replace them. Some people find it embarrassing or offensive; if it isn't your cultural tradition.
I find leaving a sign like a public establishment is unwelcoming and stuck-up. I think it's anal retentive and very inhospitable to impose on guests in such a way. I host parties frequently, and would never ask an older guest to remove their shoes.
I would consider it poor etiquette to ask your well-dressed lady guests to remove their heels.
If you're worried about carpeting or scratches; that's what doormats, throw rugs, and runners are for.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 I guess it depends from where you live and the local habits. Where I live , yes it would be rude, mobody does unless they have to protect a bizantine mosaic or something. Then again in USA,for instance,it is a very common policy, to the point that I often have to STOP American friends from removing their shoes in my home. Nobody seemed to mind a no-shoes policy there , so I guess the only people who DO mind are I and Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City ( remember when she gets her Jimmy Choo heels stolen at a no-shoes party ? ).
Anyway , I always complied meekly although unenthusiastically. Their house their rules.
Why do I mind ?
Well, for one because I am less than keen , paricularly at a gathering of several people, to inhale the odours from strangers feet, who may have been walking around all day, be wearing nylons, or for whatever reason not be shower fresh . Even the cleanest foot, just released from a several hours imprisonment in its leather or rubber case,sends out an olfactive signal which I can gladly do without- same as other people can gladly do without mine.
Of course that may happen with other body parts, as anybody knows who rode a crowded NY subway car on a warm summer evening. But while that's inevitable, and we can't just lock ourselves at home in order to not offend with, or not be offended by, body odours - can we please at least all keep our shoes on.
I also am not keen, unless you had been vacuuming ten minutes before my arrival, of picking up with my socks
the fine specks of dust that inevitably will gather even in the neatest hostess' living room ( not to mention the rebellious bread crumb, or the stray dog hair ). That's the reason why we don't eat on the floor, we don't cook on the floor, we don't sleep on the floor, we just walk on it.
Least of all I would be keen, on summer- no socks season, of putting my bare feet where other strangers have put their bare feet - maybe sweaty, sticky, unwashed or even athlete's foot infected.
I always was and will be appreciative of homeowners who kindly would spare me the shoes off experience. :)
Not to say, though, that those who did not spare me , I thought them " rude ". Again, after all their house their rules, and anyway there's nothing wrong in asking anything when you ask it kindly , so , although personally I am pro-shoes :), I think you are entitled to ask from your visitors.. anything which works for you. If that works equally well for them, that's a different story...
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 My husband does not like shoes on in the house. He also cringes at the idea of strangers in bare feet in our home so....
Our plan is to keep a large basket of clean slipper socks by the front door next to the shoe mat (a lipped flat tray for holding shoes) We will ask folks to take off their shoes (most of our friends remove them anyway) and ask them to please put slippers on if they have bare feet.
After use we will wash the slipper socks and return them to the "HELP YOURSELF to a pair of slipper socks" basket by the front door.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Growing up, we always took off our shoes and asked all guests to do so too. My mom is an absolute clean freak, and usually our carpet was new. Like Honeypie, we had a shoe rack as well for guests and ourselves. Nobody had any problems with it as far as we knew.
The only time I ever challenged that rule is when we lived in the Ozarks of Missouri, and in the middle of the night, I woke up bleary-eyed to use the rest room. I was walking barefoot in the dark and noticed movement on the floor. I thought it was a large spider or camelback cricket or even one of the monitor lizards that would find their way into our house to eat the aforementioned spiders/crickets. So I snapped my light on, and it was a big, brown SCORPION. Never saw one of those in real life, especially crawling within 2 inches of my bare feet. I SHRIEKED.
That was the first of many while we lived there. My mom let me wear Keds in that specific house after that, provided that those shoes never saw the outside.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (19 December 2013):
 I see this often in the construction business. Owners of new homes often do this. I've never seen it as rude. I've often thought people are silly when they install white carpet, but not rude. Honey, I've never been offered slippers. That's a nice touch.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 December 2013):
 I don't think it's rude, but not everyone is going to notice the sign. So you might have to tell them.
We have a shoe caddy at the front door and on the side door ( when you come in the front door there is a door to the basement right by..) we have a shoe organizer with slipper of all sizes. People know (because I DO tell them) that they can use a pair of slipper, so they don't have to walk around in their socks. HOWEVER it's not required, I also have plenty of mats to wipe their feet on so snow isn't dragged around the house.
IT IS harder with women, I know many that do NOT want to take their heals off. Men are much easier.
And I only ask this in winter time.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): It's quite rude to have a sign, it's more polite to ask in person. Noone will refuse bar Larry David (if you've seen curb your enthusiasm the 'porno gil' episode you'll understand).
...............................
|
