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Would you say I'm bi? Confused? Gay?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I am nealy 20 years old. For the last 2 years I haven't been very sexually active (3 partners, which I have only been with once). Anyway, my reason being is I find the thought of sleeping with men quite disgusting, it hurts me physically, I don't trust men and just ultimately I don't enjoy the experience. Anyway, for awhile now I have felt the urge to sleep with a woman. I watch porn a lot but only lesbian porn, I look at women and want to sleep with them, most of my close friends are gay, I spend all nights out in gay clubs and most people who know me assume I am gay.

Now I am unsure, I want to sleep with a woman but I don't think I would be comfortable in a relationship with one. Whereas, I don't want to sleep with men nor do I find them attractive yet I see myself married with a man when I am older and I crave a relationship with a man.

Would you say i'm bi? Confused? Gay?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012):

I have a similar situation. I find both attractive and could see myself marrying either but the idea of sex with a man sort of repulses me.

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A male reader, dude27 Australia +, writes (6 May 2012):

Just be Bi find a guy who is bi and love each other and always put each other first.... me and my gf are bi and we love each other to bits... we dnt use our bi feelings ever only time is when we watch porn together lol :P but where always honest if we feel one sex or the other but our love is that strong she is always number 1 in every way like i am to her..... i feel so lucky i met the women of my dreams who is bi like me..im blessed and i hope the same happens to you and you find a bi man if thats the way you wanna go :) good luck and all the best :)

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 May 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI guess at the moment you are just unsure of your sexuality. You say you have been with three guys and you didn't really enjoy sex with them, but where you comfortable with them? Where you actually in a loving relationship with them, because if not, then that would be why it hurt and that would be why you did not enjoy it. I believe to lose your virginity it needs to be with someone who you trust and who you are comfortable with, if it was just one night stands with no real feelings then it wouldn't make it an enjoyable experience for you.

As for wanting to sleep with a woman, don't worry most people go through phases of being curious, and hey maybe you are a lesbian, but try not to worry about it to much at the moment just do what you are comfortable with. If you meet a girl and want to go further then don't stop yourself. Just do whatever feels right for you.

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A female reader, Thisiscrazy Australia +, writes (1 May 2012):

Thisiscrazy agony auntI think your confused because you feel being in a gay relationship is not the normal. Being with a man is what most women have been bought up to see as what there future holds.. You don't enjoy sex with men and don't find men attractive that's fine go out and have a sexual experience with a woman and see how you feel after that.. Always remember its your life and you are the one who knows what will make you happy.. But you won't know if you don't experience it.. Don't worry about what you think others that see you with a woman are thinking just be happy.. You have really told us you don't like men so experience a woman and it will help you know who you really are...what other think and what makes you happy may be completly different so put your happiness first.

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