A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lets say you love someone and they are the love of your life they disappear for 9 months nothing involving you but rather cause they were messing up their own life and they had to leave cause they were doing stupid things and they didn't want you to see it/ be around it since you changed your life. Meanwhile you went through those 9 months still madly in love with them yes you were crying and hurt, you dreamed about them at night.The love of your life returns into your life not knowing how to explain themselves and you ask why they left. Your love explains himself and is in pain doing so and you understand that you hurt but they were hurting themselves as well but was a little considerate by not letting you witness what they were going through. You tell your love what you went through crying/ dreams/ depression and it feels like a weight has been lifted as if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like I picked myself up after we talked about that he told me he'd always love me and he didn't want it to happen like that but he got into trouble and messed up. I really love this man I do during the time he was explaining himself he said he'd always love me and he was truly sorry he didn't mean for anything to happen that way but it did. I want to be in his life again but I was to take it slowly rather than running into it. During our time apart I tried dating and it didn't feel right I love him and our history is long I just cannot bring myself to letting him out of my life he's met my family I've never introduced a man to my family and they all loved him he'd never get me into drama like he seemingly lets himself get into. I know what I want to do already but I need some opinions from others as if they were in my shoes.Ps their is so much more to this than I can write at the moment but we love each other and made one another happy I realized he was drinking a lot around the time he'd disappeared aswell but he ended up going to jail in a different state for the stupid things he did. Thanks Aunts! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 I would only let him back in to my life if I knew that he'd addressed the heavy drinking, if I knew exactly what lead to him being imprisoned and whether or not I felt it likely that he'd do the same again. People don't go to prison for nothing - I hope you know exactly what his crimes were.
I know you love him but bear in mind that your emotions will be clouding your judgement. Remember how much hurt you went through while he was away and ask yourself whether you can face going through that again. I doubt your family and friends will love him quite so much after all this, by the way....
It sounds like you've already made up your mind to let him back in, and so I would advise you to take it *very* slowly and cautiously, which is what you're proposing anyway. At the moment this guy doesn't sound like a good long term prospect to me. What if you had children with him and the same thing happened? That said, people can change and learn from their behaviour, and it's important to be able to forgive.
Only you can decide whether he's really changed and whether you want to take the risk of going through all this again. Just try, if you can, to think about it logically without letting your emotions cloud your judgements.
Good luck.
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