A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Did I do something wrong? I was with my ex in the fall, then had a feeling something was wrong one night, and looked in his phone to find many texts from a girl I didn't even know. Things like good morning and goodnight and can I bring you lunch naked? I confronted him and he said it was just a friend. I didn't believe him so contacted the girl by myspace myself. She called me saying indeed he had invited her over to watch movies and cook dinner for her. She talked to me for 2 long hours, so I highly doubt she was making it all up. She said that he only referred to me as his ex. Anyway, I broke up with him because I couldn't trust him anymore (even though he didn't cheat). Well, a month went by and I missed him because I love him (we were engaged at one time) and we just got back together on Vday. He told me that this girl went to his friends and told them that she tried to break us up. I thought that was weird, and since she didn't tell me herself (of course why would she if that's in fact what she was doing), so I didn't really beieve him. I was looking for away to break up with him once and for all anyway since he is verbally abusive, but couldn't find the strength. I thought that maybe if I found out the truth I could make a decision. So, I messaged the girl on myspace asking if it was true that she told my boyfriend's friends that she tried to break us up. She didn't respond, and must have sent the message to my boyfriend or one of his friends, because a few hours later he called me and left a voicemail saying that he knew what I did, and couldn't believe I was still contacting his friends (I didn't think she was his friend cuz he said they weren't and that she was a slut). He said I couldn't see him before he moves to Florida in a week. I responded by text saying good, I wanted to end it anyway and that I didn't want to be with someone dishonest anyway. My question is, did I do something wrong? I told this guy that is my friend that I messaged the girl, and he thought it was weird (of course he doesn't know the whole story and he even said he didn't). I just want to know if other people would have done this?
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broke up, engaged, got back together, his ex, my ex, myspace, text Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (25 February 2009):
I would have messaged her
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Good on you! Don't feel bad! He may even have convinced her not to say anything because she probably knew you were around and she wasn't doing the right thing either! Move on, boyfriend's don't need to be inviting other women around to cook dinner for, what else would his motives have been!? It takes allot of courage to face up to the other women, you should be proud! Most girls just sit and stew and take their boyfriend's manipulative lies!
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (23 February 2009):
 Hm, in this kind of situation, when you can't trust someone, sometimes the only way to get information is to go to the source. I don't think you did anything wrong in this case, but it's a slippery slope of going behind someone's back.
When you can't trust someone, it's best to just not be with them. Liars don't make good partners. Be extra careful about the next guy you side yourself with, okay?
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