A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends exes have all looked very similar, tall, very thin with a flat chest. He's not particularly tall, 5'10''. I'm quite short, I have broad shoulders, big boobs, but small waist and hips with muscly thighs. I'm not fat so I don't have body confidence issues, well until now! I don't know why but its playing on my mind that I look so different from the rest of them. He's quite small framed and I'm kinda feeling a bit butch around him! I've asked him about this and he just tells me not to be stupid, but I catch him looking at women who look like his exes all the time. We do have a good sex life but I keep thinking about this all the time. We've not been together all that long and we haven't had a bust up about it, I've never been a jealous person but I am now, how'd you stop yourself getting jealous? Would you break up with someone over something like this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): you're the one making this into a problem, not him.
look at it this way - all those tall thin women are his EX's. He didn't stay with any of them long term. Enough said.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): This girl has a very similar problem to you OP check out the advice she got and her question.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-used-to-idolise-his-friends-body45.html
I will say one thing to you though OP, insecurity and jealousy is a far greater threat to your relationship than your physical appearance.
Also if you read that question ask yourself this. Do you only like one type of guy? Really like, is your boyfriend the only type of guy you've ever found attractive? You've never found anyone who didn't look exactly like your boyfriend attractive?
Of course you've varied tastes OP, so why do you think he somehow doesn't? Looking back most of my ex's were of a similar type personality wise, but looks wise they varied a lot. Try not to be so superficial OP, like you, he has varied tastes and isn't confined to liking only colour hair or one flavour ice cream.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I am your age and HAD a similar problem with my now husband.
His dating history was full of latinas. He watched latina porn. In the beginning he even spoke of always wanting to marry a big breasted educated latina, but how I was everything he didn't know he wanted. Good God!
It took some years (and coloring my hair black and tanning) to realize how absurd I was being. He obviously finds me tremendously attractive, otherwise he wouldn't want to marry me. Second, he must find me tremendously attractive otherwise he wouldn't want to have sex all the time! Third, there is so much more to the physical that he like in me - he loves my personality, my smarts and hummor, etc. These apply to you also.
I asked talked to him about my issue on several occassions. Each time he said that he appreciates beauty period - latina or white girl. He said that I am being silly, I am gorgeous and the most beautiful girl ever. Of course, I know that inside his head he has a thing for dark haired olive skin girls, but that doesn't mean he doesn't find me just (if not more) beautiful.
Men tend to like anything beautiful - no matter what the shape or color. So, you're just (if not more) beautiful as his ex's to him, despite having a different shape. He "might" have a thing for tall and thin girls, but thats a small preference that has no influence on who he loves, finds attractive, has sex with and marries.
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A
male
reader, NuVu  +, writes (12 November 2012):
I'm quite sure he looks at all kinds of girls. It's just that you're noticing it more when it's tall skinny ones because that's where your insecurity lies.
Who cares about the past.. i'ts over. As you said it's a pretty new relationship, so quit over thinking and just relax and have some fun.
So the answer to your question how do you stop feeling jealous? Stop thinking! Smile.. breathe.. relax... don't try to control outcomes and live in the moment, not the past.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I would not break up with someone just because I was not the same physical type as his ex gfs...
FWIW, looking at other people you find attractive does not mean you don't find your partner attractive....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Yeah I know I have the issues and I hate myself for it because he is a nice guy. He definitely does check out other women and he likes other womens pics on facebook, all the same as I've described. I know men do have wandering eyes and I've had people do that in the past, I wouldn't mind if some of them resembled me a bit, but they don't with him. Every ex I've had I guess I'm their type with big boobs, I just wonder if he likes that look so much why has he gone for me. But I suppose relationships are not all about the looks, we get on like a house on fire, we're constantly laughing. This just bugs me a little x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I think you need to accept that it is you who has the major issue here and maybe you feel a bit inferior because you imagine your not good enough for him and he should be with someone tall skinny and flat chested.
Do you think this because you think he is looking at other girls? If he is you need to ask him to stop, or at least make it less obvious.
Unless you start believing that he is with you because he likes YOU, basically you are going to end up spoiling the relationship over unfounded thoughts.
Nip it in the bud now or else you are sunk.
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