A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:first of all this is a very strange situation im in i would appreciate any advice.my friend is pregnant again for the 3rd time she is 16 so this causes a little bit of a problem as she is worried that she isn't going to be able to keep the baby i was talking to my mom last night trying to figure out ways to help her and my mom said "well if worst comes to worst tell her to have the baby and i'll adopt it"i was a bit shocked, i mean this is a good thing but it's a little weird, how to i tell my pregnant friend this?do you think she will be relieved or not?will she think it is too strange?(and no i'm not the father) Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i told her and she said she doesnt know about it.part of her wants to keep it and part of her wants to abort it.she is thinking about it though.i think its a lot for her at the moment but she is trying to sort everything out.flynn 24 "that one fertile teenager" lol n thanks xapathyxrebornx i'll keep ya updated
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 Hey all you can do i suggest it to your friend.
You seem realy kind the world needs more men like you.
Keep us updated yeah? x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Wow.
This girl really needs to stop having sex for a while.
3 kids at her age, that one fertile teenager.
All you can do is let your mother make the offer and be there for the girl no matter what her answer. It's probably not a legal arrangement but unless someone blabs to the cops or Child Services, how the hell are they gonna know?
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 No problem hun, its what we are here for! Maybe give us an update now and again?
Best wishes
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha thanks np i have an overactive imagination too but ya i will do that(and it wont get in the way of my education im going to be graduation around april 23rd)thanks so much everyone especially you *jess*
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female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
Aww your like some hero in a dramatic real life movie. And I bet you get the girl in the end. But still, you are very young to be taking on so much responsibility. I think the best thing for you to do is tell her you are 100% there for her, look into benefits and suchlike, if you really want to get a job to help her then do so but make sure it doesn't get in the way of your life (education and such). If you do love her then you are doing exactly what you should be doing already. Being there for her and not adding any pressure. Thats just what your character would do in the movie and then she would realise she loves you after she has been through her stressful situation. Sorry, got a bit carried away, over active imagination! Back to the issue at hand, I really suggest you put forward the idea that she could keep the baby if she doesn't want to get rid of it, and tell her how she could manage it, i.e benefits, already having two babies etc. (sorry if this post is a bit muddled, my brain is tired) xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionya i gotta check into that i need to see if she can get any benefiets but the father was cheating on her at the time of conception she was hurt and he has already moved on from her her ex is trying to help her too.so ya the father isnt in the picture and as for her parents i dont know where they stand on the situation but i know they were very upset with her 1st child and were mad about the second one too so im pretty sure they are against the 3rd and i know it isnt my responsability but i really care about her a lot truth be told i think im in love with her but im not going to add that she has enough on her mind at the moment
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female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
Can't she get some kind of child benefits? If she doesn't want to give it away or abort it then make sure she doesn't! Those aren't the kind of decisions you should make if you aren't 100% sure you want them. If she already has two and she doesn't want to get rid of it then maybe she should just keep it, she can find a way to afford it's upbringing. Todays society helps people in the same situation as your friend! There must be some kind of authority or helpline she can get in contact with.. do any other sunts have ideas??? Also, I know you are her friend but you said you aren't the father, I really don't think you should be taking on such responsibility as getting a job to pay for her baby, your job is to be there for her but thats it. I'm guessing the father isn't in the picture? What about her parents? xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thing is she really does want the baby but she is afraid she cant afford it(my mom doesnt live in the same state as her so she wont be able to see the baby all the time)im trying to get a job to help her out but the thing is she is also thinking about abortion(however she really doesnt want that)and at the moment i dont have a job thats why im sortof in a bind and was asking my mom if there was anything she could think of to help
thanks annalisa im going ta need it
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A
female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
Well if she is sure she doesn't want this baby then you should definately let her know that she has this option for the adoption, its her choice at the end of the day and it's good for her to know every option she has. However, if she already has the two children whom I am sure she loves very much, wouldn't it be incredibly difficult for her to just give one of them away, especially when she will probably see the child quite regularly? Has she thought about just general adoption? xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy mom knows bout things like this i think she has already looked into it but yes she is completely serious about it i will double check and make sure its legal.
and yes she has kept the other 2 babies they werent planned or anythin but idk im pretty sure she uses birth control but 3rd time is making me start to think
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female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (24 March 2008):
 You can only suggest it. She will appreciate the caring thought, no doubt.
Whether she decides it's a good idea is another matter, but showing she has the option will be important for you and for her.
God bless you and good luck!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 Stranger things have happened with adoption, believe me.
But I am not sure wether it would be legally allowed. Consult with an adoption agency for the rules if your mother is serious.
Do not raise your friends hopes without first checking out what is possible and clearly understanding how the adoption would go.
If your mother is truly willing to go through with this and you have decided on what terms, then you can mention it as an option if she is considering adoption but is worried where the baby will end up.
But your family better really be serious about this. This is not something you can just do because you feel sorry for someone.
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female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
I think you should just talk it through with her as an option that she could consider, she is your friend after all, it won't offend her if you are just trying to help. However, what intrigues me is how she is pregnant for a 3rd time... has she kept the other two babies? If she can't keep the baby herself.. well.. has the girl HEARD of contraception?? Sorry but I'm just curious how a person could make the same mistake 3 times. Unless the other 2 weren't mistakes, in which case I apologise for my misgivings. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): if this person is your friend and you see each other often then i think that your mother keeping the baby is a bad idear because every time your friend see's you i will brake her heart the whole point of adoption is to the child and the mother a new start and i dont think that the baby and the mother seeing each other on a regulair bases is a good idear gie your friend the choice but before you make any kind of final decison make sure you all know the repracutions this will have on you all some times things just dont work out the way you want them to what if one day the child finds out who its real mother is it may make life really difficult and i think your mother has a really kind heart but she's not thinking long term she needs to think with her head and her heart good luck
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reader, cute angel  +, writes (24 March 2008):
 hey well thats the best thing anyone could do for a friend..i am surprised you are even thinking about this..well i am so sure your friend will be glad to hear this she will be happy to have a friend like you..but u should tell her first as a good friend that at 16 what she did wasnt right!!make he aware of it or else they are chances of her repeating it...but brfore you make this proposal to her ask her if she wants the baby,then according to what she says tell your thing!!!all the best!!!u r really a gud friend i must add..
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female
reader, LJ001 +, writes (24 March 2008):
 Hey stranger :] lol
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