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Would it be wrong to have a f*** buddy while my girlfriend is out of state?

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Question - (3 August 2007) 30 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, *esoreal writes:

Is casual sex OK when you love someone else who is not around? My girlfriend took a job that forces her to travel out of state for weeks at a time 90 percent of the time. I love her but dont want to sleep alone. Is it wrong to find a casual sexual partner in lieu of her presence. And no, she would not know about it.

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A female reader, lets_party United Kingdom +, writes (6 August 2007):

lets_party agony auntyer it is wrong she is ur gf if u love her u have to sleep alone un till she comes back if u think she will be ok with it u might as well reion ur relationship with her if she finds out she will never trust u agian x

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A female reader, SXYKARZ Ireland +, writes (4 August 2007):

SXYKARZ agony auntI think that its ok if ur girlfriend knows about this and if she agress!

But plz dont do it without telling ur girlfriend thats not very fair and remember plz use protection!

xxKarenxx

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntSo you weren't going to go through with it put thought you would waste all our times by posting it up anyway?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007):

I see you've written an answer to you own question here amongst all the other answers and that you were just testing this site out to see what sort of answers you got. Do us all a favour mate and next time you want to waste peoples time try to avoid this website. Hope you got the attention you obviously needed. All the best.

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A male reader, Peterk5699 United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2007):

Peterk5699 agony auntIt's VERY wrong and is also cheating which, again, is wrong wrong wrong!!

If you're thinking about thses things, do as the others have said - break up and go shag all the women you want.

When she's away, technically you're in a long distance relationship and it's still a relationship meaning that you shouldn't cheat.

I'm currently in a LD relationship and not once has the thought of sleeping with someone else because it is wrong.

So keep it in your pants or break up!

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A female reader, lovehate United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

lovehate agony auntNo way! That's cheating. What if you were away?! To be honest if you REALLY love your girlfriend you would keep it in your pants while she was away. Also to not tell her is just wrong, if you discussed it with her and she said ok, then yea sure. Lying to her isn't showing you love her.

Make the right decision or break up with her if it is too hard for you.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (3 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntHow would you feel if she did it to you while you were true to her. If you want to date other people, tell her that's what you want. Be a man.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

Would you like it if she had one, you are out of state too!

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntYes its incredibly wrong. If you cant keep it in your pants while shes away find someone else who is around

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A female reader, a shoulder to cry on United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

if your girlfriend is happy with it, if your f**k buddy is ok with it, then fair enough. don't end up hurting people and ruining your relationship over something so meaningless. get some porn mate!

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntHow would you feel if you found out your girlfriend was having sex with someone else or was even thinking about it like you are. Yes it's wrong because it's still cheating. If you want sex while your girlfriend is away do the decent thing and ed things with her. Then you can have all the sex you like.

xxxxxxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

Great answers, I was not really going to go through with it, but thought the question would invoke rage and disbelief. it did!!!

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A female reader, vickiii07 United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

vickiii07 agony auntthat is not acceptable.

you have your hands to give you sexual pleasure well your girlfriends away !

how would your so called f**k buddy feel anyway being used because as soon as your gf gets back you will be all over her !!

You need to think about other people's feelings here x

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A male reader, Wildlife dude Philippines +, writes (3 August 2007):

Wildlife dude agony auntCan I be frank here?....HELL YES it's wrong. Why don't you just break up with her. It sounds like she's going to be gone 90% of the time and home only 10%. With your sex drive, I don't see this relationship working out anyhow.

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A female reader, nailglitter18 Iceland +, writes (3 August 2007):

nailglitter18 agony auntHey, if it's OK with her, and she knows about it, and she knows she can have one of her own... and your "fuckbuddy" knows that she's just that... or he...

then there shouldn't be a problem. It's your business.

But that's really the issue:

She should know

you should be ok with it

and the fuckbuddy should know his/her status

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

flower girl agony auntIf you really need to ask you do not deserve a girlfriend, get some morals and do everyone a favour.

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A female reader, headsmessedup United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

this is totally wrong how can you say you love this girl if you want to sleep with someone else i advise you to put the shoe on the other foot would you like it if you were out of state and she told you she loved you dearly and then went and slept with someone behind your back?????I dont think so either keep it in your pants till she gets back or finish with her.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (3 August 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntYour girlfriend is lonely and also sleeping alone while she is traveling on business. If you do decide to do this - make sure to tell her and give her the option of comforting herself by sleeping with other men while she travels - if it's okay for you then it should be okay for her! If this gives you a little "Aha - I get it - it's wrong" moment, then you have already woken up! While you are there - take a good look at the fact that you are resentful of your girlfriend leaving (abandoning) you when she is simply, in fact, working and that you are justifying sleeping around on her to punish her! She hasn't done anything wrong, you have no reason to be angry with her, even if you don't like her traveling and you are the only person considering doing the wrong thing. I don't even want to get into the logistics of communicable diseases, how you will need testing on the sly and how you will be putting her and your own health at risk. I can't imagine that a little sex-on-the-side is going to bring you any comfort at all. If you have any conscience at all, you will be worrying about all the lying, cheating and scrambling to cover your tracks. I think that you do have a conscience or you wouldn't be writing us to ask for some kind of mental permission to embark on this course. You know that it is not the decent thing to do while you are in a committed relationship. If these separations are too much for you and you need to be with someone closer to home, then you have to do the right thing and tell your girlfriend. At the very least, you should make this choice together. She may change jobs and accomodate your request to be closer to home, or you both may want to consider going your separate ways. Best of Luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

It is completely wrong. She would be so hurt just to know that you've been considering this. You obviously don't really love her. The mere contemplation of this is enough to prove that you probably don't deserve her.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

AuntyEm agony auntGood answer Daniel!!!!

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A female reader, jtaunton5410 United States +, writes (3 August 2007):

jtaunton5410 agony auntNo thats cheating. If you wanna do that with someone then you should break up with your girlfriend and then you can do it with as many girls as you want. Just dont hurt your girlfriend by doing this behind her back.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (3 August 2007):

Danielepew agony auntOf course it would be wrong. What if YOU were out of state?

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A male reader, MistakenForStrangers United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

MistakenForStrangers agony auntAs with all these other answers, if you love her, then why would you even THINK about being with someone else!?

As is my understanding of love, she'd be amazingly hurt to think you feel this way.

However crude this sounds, go out and buy a magazine/dvd, man!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

You obviously dont love your girlfriend so finish it then do what you want simple really

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A female reader, ask paige United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

ask paige agony auntABSOLUTLY IS IT WRONG! if you say you love your girlfriend when she goes out of the state it dosnt mean u sleep with the first girl you see and so what if shes not around if you dont like that either brake up with her and tell her thats the reason you dont want to be together with her anymore or carry on seeing HER alone!

paige x

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A female reader, skye United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

skye agony auntNo way! Casual sex when you say you love your girlfriend is totally out of the question. You would never contemplate this course of action if you really did love her. Imagine how she would feel if she found out? These things have a way of making themselves known. Imagine how you would feel if it where the other way around? NO NO NO NO NO! I cant say it enough..... NO!

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

hlskitten agony auntOf course its wrong. Unless you have spoken to her about it & shes cool with it. Otherwise you are playing a dangerous game & being a tad out of order no???

If you dont like a long distance relationship there are oceans of other girls around locally? But best to let the current one know you dont want a relationship anymore.

Just my opinion.

C xxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007):

totally wrong. if you loved her, which by the sounds of it you dont then you wont want to cheat on her and sleep with someone else

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A female reader, FoxyR Jamaica +, writes (3 August 2007):

FoxyR agony auntHi

Keep on you damn pants. If you love yuor girlfriend then you should wait until she comes back.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2007):

duskyrowe agony auntIf you really love your girlfriend you will keep it in your pants, while she is away. End of .....

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