A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16, and last night when me and some friends were drinking in the park, ran into some random guys and we were all just fooling around. Had never met any of them, but I was making out with one at some point and like, he was stroking the inside of my leg, making his intentions very clear. But the strange is that I didn't seem to mind at all (nothing more happened than that in the end due to other reasons), and looking back, I don't think I would've mind having sex with him (I'm a virgin).Would it be stupid to lose my virginity to a random guy? Considering I am very self-concious, so a one-night stand would be logical in my eyes, as then I won't need to care what he thinks I look like... Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (17 May 2008):
 One night stands are not for virgins.
Most people don't really enjoy their first time, as such. You want to do it, but you are nervous, and just need to get it out of the way with, that type of things.
So please wait till you have dated a lad for a bit. It has got to feel right.
The snag is that lads will assume you are experienced (because they are).
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (23 December 2007):
I'd say it's a bad idea for a virgin to have sex with somebody after only a few hours, or even a few days, acquaintance. This is true whether the virgin is a guy or girl. There are some very basic, pragmatic, problems like birth control and sexual diseases. The experience will probably be physically disappointing for both partners. And the emotional effect on the virginal partner will be long-lasting, and may be devastating.
If you're considering this at 16 it suggests that you have little respect for either your own sexuality, or your partner's. It is likely that, some time in the future, you will have a partner who is turned off when he learns that you did this. (Guys may not mind that you've had other partners - some are even turned-on at the thought - but knowing you chose a random, anonymous, partner may actually repel him.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): It all truly depends on how you feel because everyone will have a different opinion. If you feel comfortable with losing your virginity to a random guy, then do it. What does it matter what other people think? It's just sex...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): yes, go for it. if it makes you happy at the time then it is worth it. you may pick up a few new idea as well to put into practice with future partners. There is nothing wrong with casual sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Don't do it! I can relate to you here, I am also 16 and last month i was very drunk and i can barely remember how or why I kissed a random stranger when i was drunk and later the same night I ended up at some other stranger's flat. So I would not advise having a one night stand, especially not drunk cos u dnt think things through or care about anything. All I remember is that some guy came onto me and whispered lets go 2 the bedroom and cos i was that drunk i obliged. Luckily i did not lose my virginity to a random guy cos my mate stood outside the room sayn we had to leave. And if you're stil not convinced that drunk is not the way to go - this random guy was not even thinkin about putting on a condom even though he was completly sober and i would've woken up the next day worrying about being pregnant and having STIs and wouldn't know who the father was! SOrry i tried to keep that short but i really wanted 2 express that i'm sure you'd regret it and you'd rather want to wait a little longer and do it with the right person, someone you wouldn't be shy to loose your virginity to, which is what i am going to do. Lol.I hope that helped :D xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): No No NO!!
Don't do it! There are all sorts of risks and I'm sure you'd reget it afterwards.
If you have confidence issues then you need to learn to get over it. Stand tall, walk proud!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): This is the reason why the uk has the highest pregnancy levels.
Dont be stupid,you will always remember your first time so make sure its with someone you would want to remember.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): Hmm, well since "you wouldn't mind" having sex with him then I guess you woudln't mind contacting HIV or getting pregnant. So if you don't mind getting pregnant or contacting HIV (or Hepatitis B which is more contagious than HIV) then I guess it's not stupid. What's stupid is you let that disease infected cute guy get away from you without infecting you with his disease or possibly getting you pregnant on the first time you've ever had sex and had a kid that you can't take care of because you're only 16 and would have to get a job to take care of the kid that you didn't think would come because you were too drunk to ask the disease infected guy to put on a condom or let alone ask if he even had a condom to put on and let him screw you and give you herpes or HIV or some other disease that you can't get rid of which will ultimately affect the future loving relationships you will desire but find it kind of hard to find a man who wants to date a woman with herpes or HIV or something else all because she had sex with a guy whos name she didn't even know. THAT'S what is stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): S-T-U-P-I-D???? YES! that's VERY stupid! you are 16! just imagine the possible results of the situation, you might get pregnant.. at 16? how can you handle that?... you might acquire STD'S or worse HIV!...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): one of the reasons that you might not have minded is dont forget drink can affect you like that, gives you confidence and also slows your reactions down.
Also you were probably feeling horny, thinking yeah this would be kool.
But trust me on this one!
i cant preach but when i lost it, i lost it to some random guy and we ended up screwing for a while.
at the time i was like yeah this'll be fun. its no big deal.
afterwards it was something i regretted so much, remember its one thing you can't have back.
Also, now im in a relationship and have been with a few guys since i realised just how bad he was! because he had to affection for me. it was just sex. there was no passion it was basically him pleasuring himself. end of.
All you are to him is a way to get off at the end of the day. when your in a relationship and there's trust and passion and romance sex is soo soo soo much better.
remember that pleeese!!
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): yes!!! - I did and ive regretted it ever since. Its true what they say when they tell you to wait for someone special - it makes the whole thing so much more memorable and special!!!
Please dont do it!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): YES!!!!! Very stupid! Dont even let these thoughts enter your head. What if he had HIV, or any STD's, or you fell pregnant. You would never see him again! You need to keep this special moment for the right person and he will come along in the future. But dont through it away, you will regret it.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): Personally if it was me, I wouldn't lose it to some random guy. I had plenty of chances when I was younger to loose it but I waited til I was in a committed relationship and even at that it was 6 months after we got 2gether that we had sex. I was honest and told him I was a virgin and he took his time, made sure I was ok and I was glad thats I lost mine. Make it memorable and pleasurable... Thats the main thing.
There is too many weirdo's and freaks out in the world today. You really don't know what kind of guy you could end up with, a rapist, murder - any kind of maniac!!! And aslo like the last posts, theres the risk of pregnancy, STI's and worse!!!
You have plenty of time anyway so stop worrying about losing your virginity and enjoy your life
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A
male
reader, Acuriousincident +, writes (2 November 2007):
It wouldn't be stupid really. The fact that you don't mind it though is what is the problem. You wouldn't have minded it, but you didn't want it per say. Make sure you want it before you have it, otherwise it will seem cheap when it is quite a valuble thing. Have sex with a random guy all you want but make sure you do Want it, not simply don't mind. Of course, remember to be safe as well.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Hi - well it happens to a lot of people like this but I don't think it's ideal do you? It happens as a spur of the moment thing - and then it's done. And if you don't really know the guy - it might not be a nice experience either or just OK. But there's nothing to remember - just that it happened. If you want it to be special, and something to give you a fond memory then wait till you have a longer relationship. After a suitable time - let the boy know you are a virgin and that one day it will happen.(he'll never forget you either). Then choose the day, the place, the mood and treasure it. Give yourself time afterwards to share together. That day will be one of your special memories. Much better than a quickie in the park.
(Don't forget the precautions for pregnancy and infections). Take care.
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A
female
reader, Miss C + ♥, writes (1 November 2007):
 People often don't see the bad consequences of sleeping with strangers until after it's over. Do you really want to give away something so precious to just some random guy you barely know? I'm not here to judge but I think you ought to have more self respect than that. Wait until you're in a loving relationship when you're first time will be with someone special. Losing your virginity is a massive deal and many girls your age live to regret giving it away so young so I'm glad that you decided to ask us for some advice first. At the end of the day, do you really want to look back on your first time as a meaningless fumble in the park? Think carefully. Miss C xx
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A
female
reader, baby duck +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Yes, it would be stupid.
Most females don't have sex just with their bodies. Even if it's a random guy, most female brains make sex an emotional thing.
Besides, the excitement of the naughtiness of it all is gone when it's over, but the recriminations (albeit self-imposed) are there for ages.
On the other hand, when you have an emotional connection, sex can be amazing.
So ... it is your choice ... random and possibly regretful or emotional and probably amazing.
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A
female
reader, kutie0712 +, writes (1 November 2007):
You don't know him Girl, It IS stupid to lose your virginity. One of my friends was in the exact same position as you and asked what she should do and that is what i am telling you. She went against my advice and she has a young baby she cant cope with. If you ended up pregnant or with an STD believe me the guy wouldnt hand around. Forget him
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Your first time is not likely to produce fireworks. Even less so if you aren't with someone you have an emotional commitment to. Your virginity is not something to "get over."
Your first time can hurt if the guy isn't taking it slow and paying attention to your needs. You need to have A LOT of foreplay to make sure your body is ready. Some random guy is less likely to bother with you; he's more likely to use you to get off.
Wait until you're with someone you can laugh with (playful laughter during and after sex are crucial, not to mention the best fun). You especially want this if there aren't fireworks at first, so that you can still have a good time.
A sexual relationship is a journey, not a destination. Be sure to hit all the stops on the way rather than rushing to the end. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Hi,
people in committed relationships have fantasies about having sex with a total stranger. But they are fantasies because for one its dangerous and secondly you can catch an infinite number of diseases.
Then even if he puts on a condom it could slip off or break and you could end up pregnant.
You might be initially lustful but then lose interest halfway through, you could then end up being raped.
The pitfulls are numerous, find a nice guy who you like and will respect you that way your first time will be memorable and you wont be left lying down in a park somewhere with you knickers around your knees feeling bad about yourself.
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A
female
reader, HelloKitty +, writes (1 November 2007):
in my own personall opnion i wouldnt i mean he could have any sti...i was a virgin till not that long ago...you might not think nothing to it but you might regret it later on in life because people say you should lose your virginity to someone you know it will mean something to you...this guy might try and abuse you so i would say its not the right idea...dont put yourself down because you are 16 and a virgin and dont have a boyfriend...i thought i would never get a boyfriend because everyone seemed to put me down sayin i was fat and everything like that then before i know it i had a boyfriend...never jump into things like that too quick...you might not of seemed bothered but then again you might of been telling yourself that but you actually were...but thing of it the realistic way...would you want to sleep with a random guy you dont know so you can lose your virginity but also catch any sti like hiv which can kill, clomidia ect ect or would you want to wait for the right guy to come around were you know it will mean something to you and you know he is clean...hope this advice has helped you.
xxxxxxx
x\\3//x
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