A
male
age
41-50,
*oe1111
writes:I have recently spilt with my girlfriend of nineteen months. She ultimately called it off although she said it was me afterwards, as i had written a letter the week before saying the relationship should end. I wrote the letter as I was extremely annoyed with her persistent use of facebook, which meant she was chatting online to a ex boyfriend alot. she also keeps in touch with another ex boyfriend and his best friend. they were all a big group of friends at uni and I think she either hasn't got over being out of uni or honestly thinks she can stay friends with them only. I think men are totally different - i really feel they only ever keep in touch with girls if they think there is a chance or just keep them on the line in case!this is my point of view and it has come up over and over but she continues to chat to them, regardless as she does not see an issue as the ex's now have girldfriends - im not sure if they would be too happy if they knew. my ex is genuine and i do trust her, its just annoying that she continues to do this.she called me last night and i visited her. We hugged and she tried to kiss me. i didnt kiss her as i am not sure we should get back. i do love her and when it is good it is great, however i am afraid of committing again as we do seem to fight over the same issues repeatedly.we said we'll speak in 2 weeks times as shes go away. would it be bad if i kissed another girl in the meantime - like random just to get it out of my system?do i sound bad saying that.Advice?
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male
reader, joe1111 +, writes (1 August 2008):
joe1111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionunfortunately, we broke up. When she got back from her two weeks away, we were all over each other on the sunday night. we had dinner on monday night which was enjoyable. She was awkward and said a few strange things late monday night so it didnt seem like there was much point in pursuing the relationship if she was being funny. i told her i would block her from facebook and delete all contact numbers from my phone. she said she wouldnt delete my number! she only lives about half a mile away and im worried about bumping into her and still having feelings! whats the best advice for getting over someone you had fantastic memories and a great relationship with but deep down knew that it probably wasnt the one?
A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 Your on break not broken up.
You wouldnt want her to, so dont
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A
male
reader, joe1111 +, writes (16 July 2008):
joe1111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys for the replies. they have made me think quite a bit. really the reason why; i want to get it out of my system - if i kiss another girl / have sex then i think i can then close the door to other women completely and will feel more at ease with pursuing the relationship. i can see however, it could open a can of worms. i think louxx is right - probably best to leave it until she comes back - but im in 2 minds!! errrrr
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Lazyguy is right, morally speaking. But realistically, women almost always get a lot more & sooner chances to hook up while on "break" than men do. Men on break have to go out and pursue others, but all women have to do is fail to turn them down.
People need to decide ahead of time whether "break" means yes or no sex with others. They usually don't and it ALWAYS a big problem.
It's always one person saying "I can't believe you would even THINK of having sex with someone else! I wasn't ready and I would have thought you wouldn't have been ready that fast if I meant anything to you!" While the other person is saying "Well, weren't we OFFICIALLY on break? You have no right to get mad now!" It always turns into this big mess.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Would it be bad is she kissed another boy while we are on a break.
If the answer is yes, then the same goes for you.
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A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (15 July 2008):
 if you really loved this girl you wouldnt even think of kissing another girl but mabey you two arnt meant to be if she suddenly called it off she could do this over and over again so you should talk it over and see were you and her stand thunk about this and really try hard to think wether you two are meant to be because life is too short to mess around and you clould get close to the other girl then get back with your ex and hurt the girl you kiss
good luck xxxx
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