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male
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*opcorn
writes: I have been in a committed gay relationship for the past 4 months. I am just wondering if there is any way I can know if my partner has had anal sex before? Does there have to be any bleeding the first time round?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005): Surely you talked to your partner about previously relationships .. if you are that worried and you havent asked him then ask him there is nothing wrong with wanting to know the answer to this.
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female
reader, lillaum  +, writes (15 October 2005):
 Hi There!
no there is no real way of Knowing i'm afraid. The best way i can think of is to ask him delicately. Why are you worried? If it's because you dont want to hurt him then refer to POPS' reply. If it because your worried about measuring up to ex's don't. he is with you now and that is what counts. Sex is different with everyone, so get to know your partner and you will end up being his best even if your not as of yet. There are loads of great sites around so why not make the most of them?
Good Luck
Lillaum
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reader, pops +, writes (15 October 2005):
Unless he tells you he has had anal sex before, the answer is no to both questions. If you go slow, use plenty of lube, and too much is just about right, then there should be no bleeding. Don't try to take him all in the first time, unless you have been able to really relax your muscles. This usually takes several attempts to achieve. And even after the first success, you have to start slow, relax and take it easy. And use lots of lube.
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