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age
30-35,
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writes: Dear cupids, I do not know how to explain how I feel at the moment. I am disgusted with myself. After I experienced bleeding, I still tried to have sex again like a month after. I bled again and every time I bleed. I believe I am still a virgin cos I will always bleed and he hasn't ever fully penetrated me. So I have decided not to have sex until I get married because I am still very tight, it hurts so much and there currently nothing pleasurable about it. Is it right if I tell any other person I date that I am a virgin just because I feel so?
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (8 December 2012):
Because you have had sexual intercourse, you are no longer a virgin.
Bleeding and pain during intercourse are symptoms that need to be addressed by a doctor if at all possible.
Most likely, the bleeding is a sign that you have at least partially ruptured your hymen, but it could also be a sign that you have a rare medical condition. Please make an appointment with a doctor to discuss your concerns.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (7 December 2012):
Nope. A lie is a lie is a lie.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Bleeding every time you have sex isnt right and you really ought to see a doctor as there could be something wrong. When you do have sex, explain the situation so he knows to go very easy on you and be patient.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2012):
 Is it right that I tell the other person I'm single because I feel so?
Nope it's not right. that's a lie as much as you saying you are a virgin.
If you are deciding to wait for marriage to try sex again, you may find that your problem has not abated. In fact, due to fear and loathing (you don't currently even like sex) it may be worse. You could develop vaginismus if you don't already have it: http://www.vaginismus.com/
I think it's better for you to
a. be honest with all future partners
and
b. (more importantly) to see your gyn and figure out what's going on....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): No OP it wouldn't be right because it would be a lie. That's like me killing someone and asking to be let off because I don't feel like a killer.
You did the physical act even if he only put the tip in and that is your virginity gone.
You may want to go see a doctor though OP, you may have a problem down there if you keep bleeding like that.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 No, it is not right, because you are not. You had vaginal intercourse , although with partial penetration, plus your hymen most probably is broken, since, as another Aunt mentions, is not placed that deep, in fact is just there by the vaginal opening .
The fact that you feel virgin because you did not enjoy sex, pardon me, is a bit like a married woman saying " I don't like my husband that much, so that means I am single ". What you feel does not change the facts.
If you meant, " can I pass myself as a virgin during my wedding night ? ", I guess so, seen the tightness and the bleeding...But if you ask would it be right, no it wouldn't.
Btw, sorry to repeat this advice again, but's imnportant, do see an OB/GYN, whether you stop having sex or not, that you bleed every time is not a good thing, go see what's the problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): I'm not an expert, but I think if you bled when you were penetrated, its possible you broken your hyman (a piece of skin that is usually intact before a a girl loses her virginity, and broken when she does). I'm guessing the bleeding won't happen every time you have sex, nor will it last forever, but if you tried to have sex too many times and too soon after you broke it, you will bleed until (I'm guessing a rip or tear?) heals.
If you currently have a boyfriend who you plan to marry (from the sound of your post), I wouldn't worry about having to tell any other guys of your concern. If the point came where you would have sex with another guy, you may not even bleed by then anyway.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 December 2012):
Like Honeypie says, you're not a virgin anymore so saying that you are wouldn't be right. I highly suggest you get an exam because you shouldn't bleed and have pain every time you have sex.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 December 2012):
 If a you had a penis in your vagina you are no longer a virgin, no matter how much you bleed. The hymen is not in deep it's actually pretty close to the opening of your vagina. So it doesn't matter how far in he inserted his penis. Penis inside vagina = no longer a virgin.
The bleeding has nothing to do with your virginity. Could be the guys you have slept with have been hitting your cervix and cause you to bleed or it could be an inflammation, it could be many things.
IT IS NOT normal to bleed every time you have sex. I suggest you get yourself an appointment with a gynecologist and get a pelvic exam.
I think it would akin to lying to say to a "potential future husband" that you ARE a virgin when you in reality aren't. But you can tell him that you wish to save sex til marriage.
Just because you regret having sex doesn't mean it changes the facts.
Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but that is my opinion.
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