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Would he have changed had I mentioned the things that were bothering me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, *as077 writes:

Dear Cupid,

I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 6 months. I wanted to get together and do it, but it happened over the phone from him. He was a good guy and always tried do nice things for me. I couldn't seem to be happy with whatever he did for me or tried to do for me. He followed my lead for the most part and was all about as long as he was with me and what I wanted. I have also been under a lot of stress with buying a new apartment and losing my job as well as family problems. Is there something wrong with me? Should I have mentioned to him the things about him that were bothering me? Would he have changed? Why couldn't I enjoy myself with him? He also had been through a divorce recent to when we started dating.

I wanted to tell him what was bothering me about him in the break up conversation, but it all went pretty quickly and didn't I didn'tget a chance to. I don't know if it would have made a difference, I just go to a point where I need space due to stress.

View related questions: broke up, divorce

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A female reader, Jovial South Africa +, writes (24 July 2008):

Jovial agony auntHi

I am really sorry for everything that has been happening in your life.

I dont know if it would have made a difference or speed up the breakup. Yes you made a mistake by not communicating how you felt at the time however the best thing for you right now is to learn from this mistake so that next time when you are in a relationship u dont have unanswered questions like this if the relationship dissolves.

Maybe if you guys get a chance to catchup maybe you can ask him and hear his thoughts, but this only depends on the level of your friendship otherwise it might make things worse for you.

was this guy on a rebound when you met? because you mentioned divorce, I dont think someone who really cares for you deeply would breakup with you telephonically unless you had a long distance relationship unless he was really fedup with your treatment of him that he just wanted to get it over with, since you said he followed your lead.

Focus on getting yourself on your feet again, so that you dont your next relationship is not affected by all this drama.

Jovial

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